The following is a post from Tabitha
A few weeks ago my husband saw a mother holding her daughter’s baby. No, not her granddaughter, but a computerized ‘baby’ for learning about human development and taking care of a new baby. Something that apparently, many American teenagers don’t learn about unless they are in a class similar to the one this mother’s daughter was taking.
Our children saw one of these ‘babies’ at church a few weeks ago as well. They were, at first, wondering why a teenager had a baby doll. I tried, and I think failed, to explain what the baby was for and why it was important. I tried to explain that this girl was taking a class about babies and needed the doll to show she knew how to take care of a baby.
My teens were slightly incredulous. Now, I know not every teenager has the opportunity to learn about small children and babies in their own home or even at church or friends’ homes. Babysitting classes and courses such as this one are probably great resources.
I grew up in a home where I was called upon to babysit, both my own siblings and families from church, or even friends of my parents who had small children. I learned every day how children learn, grow, and develop. My parents taught me all about such things and helped me know how to help these small children learn and grow as well as take care of their physical needs. It never occurred to me that there might be a more formal need for learning.
My own children are also skipping that ‘formal’ learning about taking care of babies and small children. My 13 year old changes diapers almost as well as his parents, who have been changing diapers for 15 years now (longer if we’re talking about other kids as well as our own).
My 15 year old knows how to keep order in the home when parents aren’t home, and even if we are, can sometimes be found mediating a disagreement between some of the younger siblings. My 12 year old know how to sooth a baby even if she’s not very experienced at it.
My 2 year old was holding a baby doll just yesterday, slightly rocking and bouncing as she made small, gentle noises and held the baby close. The 4 and 5 year olds run to comfort the newest baby in our home, just 1 month old, when she is upset.
There's nothing like a real baby.
They know about babies. They know that each is special and is a small person with wants and needs just like them. They are learning about what those needs are and they want to help. They know what isn’t good for her, and know what they can do to make her happy. All in age appropriate terms from the 2 year old to the 15 year old. They know…
- Babies are special
- Babies take special care
- Babies need gentle handling
- Babies can’t talk
- Babies can’t tell you what they need
- Babies cry sometimes
- Sometimes babies cry when they don’t need anything
- Babies cry when they do need something
- Babies sleep a lot
- Babies eat a lot.
- Babies can’t eat what big kids eat
- Babies need different food, mostly milk, whether breastmilk or formula.
- Babies take a lot of mom’s time.
There are many, many more things that a family can learn from a baby. However, we’re still learning ourselves, as well as teaching our children, so alongside the AP test preparation, 7th grade logic, pre-reading activities, life science, and math at all levels from Geometry to counting, we are also learning about babies.
Erica@urbancityorganics says
Great post Tabitha!
I totally wish we had that around here in San Antonio, As a pediatric ER nurse, I am completely at awe (of course now, NOTHING surprises me), about how clueless some parents are. Not that it is their fault but I believe the dissolution of the nuclear family has a lot and has changed family learning perspectives. They most likely were sent to daycare’s and schools while momma did stuff and now are not quite so sure what to do when they have a child.
That is only one possibility but there are so many books on child rearing. I don’t understand. For example, I will have someone come into the ER for a fever but they never entertain the idea of giving acetaminophen or ibuprofen. They don’t know to take the clothes off, cooling measures, etc…
Last week I had one poor momma who was worried her 3 day old wasn’t urinating for the past 14hrs. She was tired, emotional, red eyed from crying.
As I assessed the little tyke I asked her how feeding was going. She said he was eating well, eating ALOT, and had already gotten up to 35ml today. WHAT? 35ml??? One ounce?? In 14hrs??? Yes, he was getting 5-10 ml a feeding. When I told her he should be drinking 2-3 ounces every 2 hrs…she burst into tears and cried about dehydrating her baby. He hadn’t been fussy so she hadn’t pushed feeding.
I gently told her that babies don’t come with instructions so sometimes you have to seek information but encouraged her not to wait so long. Babies are such a different learning curve.
Its good to see some schools implementing the principles of mother and fatherhood however nothing compares to real life studies in the family such as your own.
Nicole says
I took a sex-ed class in HS (9 years ago) in which I got extra credit for taking home one of those types of dolls (it basically just cried at random times, and to get it to stop, I had to insert a key into its back and hold it there for random intervals – sometimes 2 minutes, sometimes 20 minutes). It had a knack for crying when I was asleep, taking a shower, and taking an exam for another class (an AP class, actually!)… I didn’t really learn anything from it, to be honest. I’m going to have my first (real baby) in 3 weeks – a boy – and, though I grew up with plenty of younger cousins, we weren’t involved in a church in my family when I was a teen and my experience with babies and small children is limited, though probably more than it would have been if I hadn’t become involved in church as an adult (helping with nursery, Sunday school, and VBS, especially). I think the dolls are more of an attempt by the schools to get teens to think twice before engaging in sexual activity, rather than teaching them how to actually take care of a baby.
Betty Jo Hendrickson says
My daughter (16) has had hands on home school classes in pregancy care, infant care, child development, and child safety. She’s second oldest of our 5 kids. I overheard her with one of her church friends who had a baby doll from public school. She said, “I’ have real babies to care for at my school”.
This experience has led her to get several babysitting jobs. She is currently volunteering at our local crisis pregnancy center and hopes to be working with pregnant and new mothers in a year or two. She also is advocating pro-life beliefs everywhere possible. I truly think that home schooling has opened up a very important opportunity for her. My boys also know a good deal about baby care.