Stress is a canker. It not only rots your insides but it also damages little hearts who are on the receiving end of it. I believe there are two types of stress – voluntary and involuntary stress. Voluntary stress usually flares when my hands are involved. Involuntary stress usually comes into the house through situations we have no control over.
Regardless how the stress forms when it comes time to sit down at the table and teach pre-algebra, handwriting, or reading … it is nearly impossible to pull off a successful lesson without a quick pulse, agitated heart, or bubbling anger.
Before you entertain thoughts of throwing in the homeschool towel, or driving up to the closest public school and threatening to leave your son there (not because anyone writing this post has done anything remotely close to that – ever … maybe .. just once) … there are a few simple things we can do to reduce the tension in our homes when we’re feeling overly stressed.
1. Don’t do it. Take the day off – play hookie. No child needs the Hulk teaching fractions! Get outside, breathe some fresh air, go for a walk (it’s p.e.) – sometimes pushing away from the school supplies can do wonders. Ever notice cultures who celebrate the siesta have lower heart attack rates than Americans?
2. Rearrange. School in the afternoon, on the couch, or outside – which is our favorite. Change the day up to school when you are not feeling the stress. You do not have to stick to someone else’s schedule. Have a child read to you while you wash the evening dishes – another favorite. Discuss assignments rather than fill in the 15th worksheet for the day. Homeschooling is beautiful because it is flexible.
3. Share it. I firmly believe our backs were not made to carry heavy burdens. Talk to a friend you trust; do not blast it online. Share what is weighing you down – most times another perspective, encouragement, skype emoticon, or joke always lightens my heart.
4. Turn it up. There is something about music that transformers our feelings. I believe that’s one reason why silent films are no longer popular. Find what you like and turn it up. Most children love music too – take a break and dance together, or take a load off and enjoy it. Let it wash over you and calm those nerves. It might lead to a school lesson on Bach! Slow dance with your spouse again right there in the kitchen!
5. Exercise. I hate exercise, but I always feel great after it’s done. Exercise does wonders for releasing tension. Can’t take that kickboxing class? Take the kids to the tennis courts, swim, run around the house, go for a bike ride, take a walk with the whole family, go sledding, do 20 jumping jacks together, or invest in an exercise dvd. Just get moving!
6. Laugh. Laughter is an antidote for stress. “She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come” Proverbs 31:25. Keep a picture of something that always makes you smile or have easy access to home movies! Watch a comedian on You Tube, start a tickle fight with your children. Literally LOL – it’s okay, do it often! You need it!
6. Laugh. Laughter is an antidote for stress. “She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come” Proverbs 31:25. Keep a picture of something that always makes you smile or have easy access to home movies! Watch a comedian on You Tube, start a tickle fight with your children. Literally LOL – it’s okay, do it often! You need it!
During those stressful days we all encounter I encourage you to put on your long term bifocals and see this is a small season of the big picture. Do not multiply your stress by comparing yourself to Suzie NeverStressful, (the homeschooling champ in your co-op). Be proactive in addressing stress and making efforts of getting rid of it before losing your cool with your kids! I regret that my son has seen me act out of control because I allowed my stress to overwhelm me.
Most importantly – keep open lines of communication with your spouse and keep praying!
Most importantly – keep open lines of communication with your spouse and keep praying!
photocredit – flickr
Amber @ClassicHousewife says
Excellent suggestions.. We’ve never gone as far as to actually DRIVE to the public school–good idea! I mean, er, um, how could you!? ;0)
Thank you for the encouragement!
Stef Layton says
sadly Amber – I have done it more than once but definitely NOT more than twice!
Ashley Pichea says
Stress was getting to me earlier this week (read: Sunday and Monday), so I decided Mommy needed some space. I took the kids outside and let them run for a bit. Not only were they happier, but I got some much needed fresh air! 😀 It’s amazing what a small change in scenery (going outside) can do!
Stef Layton says
one reason why I am so thankful we live in FL – we can get outside often and just take in some good Vitamin D! Thanks for sharing!
Tabitha Valencic says
Definitely a good thing! We are closing on our house this week, dealing with strep throat, and expecting a bunch of family this weekend… homeschooling suddenly became a little bit too much so we are changing it up this week!
Stef Layton says
oh – I hate when the sickness comes along and it’s done for more than just a day! I hope the house closing went well – and you can get back to a normal routine!
sylvia says
Great article. An important note> sometimes stress comes in so small we think we can power through (if we notice it at all) and we probably can but those little stresses can pile up into large, nebulous, stress piles that we arent able to pinpoint effectively because there is no one cause. Once you recognize it for what it is, the same remedies apply. It’s just harder to see coming. Also,…..I stole your stress chicken pic. It’s just too funny!
Sylvia
Stef Layton says
GREAT point – thanks for adding that!
Mary @ Homegrown Learners says
Great article by Stef. I really like the advice of not blasting stress online. Wise words!
Stef Layton says
thanks – I’ve learned from my mistake of looking like a complete online basket case !! Who wants that type of person to guest post?
Amy :) says
Do you know, even Suzie Never Stressful really gets stressed out by homeschooling, too? I have the (unfortunate?) gift of coming across as never getting stressed. Usually I’m pretty relaxed about life in general, but I’ve had those days, too, where I threaten to walk over to the school in our neighborhood and enroll the kids. (Although I have honestly not threatened that for at least a year now…)
I agree with Sylvia about how little stresses add up until it’s too much to handle, too. My poor husband… everything seems fine and then all at once, suddenly I can’t handle anything!
Stef Layton says
thank goodness our school is a car ride away or we’d be taking daily walks! ha! Oh Amy – what a blessing to have it roll away – like water off a duck’s back! peace in all situations (big or small) – thanks for sharing from the Suzie Never Stressful side!
Nancy M. says
Awesome ideas! I thought I was the only one who thought about sending their kid to public school!
Stef Layton says
no Nancy – I’m realizing I’m not the only one either!
Betty says
Thanks for these tips. A reminder to be flexible is needed every now and again.
Amy says
I needed this today. Thanks so much for sharing. Blessings.
Nina says
this is exactly what I am going through. Feb. is notorious for being Homeschool Burntout, but it’s going through to March now, and I am feeling unorganized, frazzled and beserk. What do you do when you have done all of that?
I am seriously considering sending them in. And yes, I drove one of my kids up to what they thought was the school!
Stef Layton says
Nina – may I recommend a break, an evening “off” – a weekend with family (sans children). A homeschool convention / church conference? Time apart to relax, refresh – and seek your heart to know if it is truly time or not! I know God will lead you in the right decision – and possibly walking to the other side of the green grass will give you a clear perspective of what the Lord wants you to do! Praying!
stef says
thank you all for your comments – and sharing your hearts with me! Praying for a stress-less weekend!
Stacey says
Stress in homeschooling? Never! 🙂
I love these ideas Stef. I have found too, stress is most frequent when I’m tired.
I also believe in the power of chocolate. 100%.
Love you friend!
Jamie @ See Jamie blog says
I love the ideas you’ve shared here! 🙂
Jimmie says
Sometimes I simply cannot focus on school because of the stressors of life. I try to let my daughter do independent work at those times and be easy on myself. You are so right that the HULK is not a good teacher. And that’s who I become.
brightbunch5plus1 says
Ha! I sat down, googled stressed with homeschool, and this happened to pop up. I read this at the perfect time, so thank you for the wonderful tips!
Krystina Bigham says
Me too! This was a very encouraging site…I am so relieved to know that I’m not the only one who has threatened public school. =)
Mary says
I, too, googles stress with homeschooling and found this site. I especially enjoyed #9. I never really thought of homeschooling my children as stewardship. That is just what I needed to read! I just withdrew my children from a private school to begin homeschooling. I have had so many second thoughts and jitters! Your post is just what I needed to calm down!
Mamma Darr says
I googled and here I am. I blew up today and am feeling pretty bad about it. I fear I might be pushing my five-year-old twins too much but with all the crtisicsm of homeschooling, I feel like they have to out perform. Then having a three and one year old makes the stress increase. My three-year-old is ok usually, but my 13 month old has been VERY whining whenever we do school. I’m so frazzled. But, this post helps me feel like I’m not alone. And yes, I’m guilty of threatening public school to my spirited daughter. I know this is the right thing to do, it just doesn’t make it the easy thing to do. When my husband is around to watch the baby, things go pretty smooth. Thanks for the post!
Veronicaasn says
I wanted to thank everyone who posted for being honest and encouraging. I literally just found this website and was drawn in. I’m on my second year doing homeschooling and its still quite challenging. Glad to know I’m not the only one dealing with second thoughts at times. I think I’m going to go for that much needed walk!