Conflict.
We had our first deployment “fight” today, via text.
I was upset about something else and he took the brunt of my frustration.
I wish I could say that I quickly realized I was overreacting and apologized, but I didn’t.
I wish I could write some insightful story about working through conflict while separated, but I can’t.
It’s lonely here. I’m never actually alone, yet the person on earth who knows me best, loves me the most, and would do anything for me is halfway across the world.
I’ve written this post 100 times in my head, and deleted most of what I typed. I don’t want to discourage people and definitely don’t want people to feel sorry for me.
There is joy in all of this. There is laughter, there is growth. Sometimes you just have to dig a little deeper to find it. But really isn’t that true for all of us?
PSA for the day. Don’t start gigantic remodel projects the first week of deployment. Just don’t.
My husband has been deployed to the Middle East for 274 days. These are my real thoughts expressing my heart during his absence. I appreciate your prayers and kind words as we cope, adapt, and carry on without him until August 2014. To read from the beginning, click here.
Sarah says
I follow you and too am a spouse of an active duty service member who has done 3 deployments so far. First 2003-had 0 kids, Second-2010-had 3 kids (one was 90 days old), Third 2012-had 4 kids (#4 was 33 days old–read: spent post of the year of 2011-2012 in our ‘honeymoon’ post deployment pregnant and in school finishg my masters, working full time-no stress-ha). I read, I laugh and I cry with you! I enjoy your blog and while my heart aches for you to see the deployment day…. blog it warms my heart you have an outlet. I keep my (blog) outlet private and would invite you to follow it. My husband is home now, for a while at least, but if you need a fellow spouse (with multi kids) who gets frustrated, gets emotional, hangs up on their spouse (only after shouting at them– of course– that the toddler tipped over the dog water AGAIN, as if they can do anything, but I did scream and I DID hang up on him after he responded back–didn’t he know there was no response needed!(*&^!) I look back and I cherish each deployment for the growth it gave me, for the friendships it provided (that I am certain would not have come to be without being alone) and who can try hard (and often) see the light that is to come for the path we chose as a family!–reach out! I would love to chat!
Toni Anderson says
Hi Sarah-
You can email me at thehappyhousewife@gmail.com. I’d love to read your blog. 🙂
Toni
meghan says
This is what I like to call, “being alone in a room full of people” been there, and it really stinks. Say it with me, it is okay to be mad that he is gone. It is okay, and it will be okay. Prayers to you in the difficult time.