Today was a sunny 44 degrees so my kids wanted to play outside all day in the “hot” weather.
I’m learning to go with it on these days instead of forcing them inside for school. They played outside until the sun went down and then came in and did school work until bedtime.
For a few kids this worked really well. For one of them, this was a terrible idea. When I was in Tampa someone asked me how it was going. I decided to be honest and tell them it really stunk.
Deployment was easier when the kids were little. I know everyone who has little kids and is dealing with the same thing wants to slap me right now because being a single parent with babies and toddlers is exhausting.
But being a single parent of teenage boys who have hormones going crazy and are trying to figure out how to step it up and be the man, but still want to be a regular kid, and still do incredibly stupid stuff on a regular basis is ridiculous.
Ridiculous.
I love my kids. They are pretty much the best kids in the world. Most days. But it is really hard to love them through the stupid, hold them accountable, be relatable, be encouraging, and help them walk through all their deployment issues every single day.
When my kids were little I was physically exhausted. I collapsed in bed every night and fell right to sleep, I did’t worry much about how the deployment would affect them because they were all little and didn’t know the difference between two days and two months.
This deployment is mentally exhausting. There are days when my head hurts from life.
I never thought I would say that Cora would be my easiest kid during the deployment, since she is usually my hardest. But she is. Dealing with sharpie on the floor and earrings falling out are easy peasy compared to teenage boys.
This has been a very long week.
My husband has been deployed to the Middle East for 274 days. These are my real thoughts expressing my heart during his absence. I appreciate your prayers and kind words as we cope, adapt, and carry on without him until August 2014. To read from the beginning, click here.
Dineen says
I totally get this. I may not be a military mom. I may only have one child who is six and a daughter, but I get it. Every day you are still a first-time parent, because no sooner do you master one stage of development and think you’ve got a handle on being a mom, then your kiddo changes/grows/develops and it’s all new again.
Being tired is alright, it’s more than just dealing with the deployment… your body has been sick. I am glad you were able to get some time alone and perhaps some needed rest yesterday.
I keep holding God’s vision of order and peace and health for you in my prayers. For you and your family.
Letitia says
Praying for peace and rest for you, and will continue to. Please continue to be as honest and authentic as you are being….this is real, and people need to know that God can handle our real feelings when they aren’t all warm and fuzzy (for a long time )
Moses got tired at one point and needed his arms held up, he couldn’t do it. God sent help, didn’t chide him for not being able to hold up his arms….
Holding up your arms,
Letitia
tammy cordery says
Oh, you poor thing. Sometimes it is hard when you have teenagers in the family. maybe you should put your boys on a project in the house like something his father would do. like paint the walls even help with making dinner with you to doing the laundry. to me they sound bored. get a camcorder and have them make a movie with their toys. things like that.