This is the story of how I became The Happy Housewife. If you are new to my site, I would suggest starting at the beginning.
After Sailor’s transformation, our relationship changed for the better. He starting writing letters and showed an interest in our daughter. It was because of these changes that I was willing to move to Middle of Nowhere, West Virginia for his next tour of duty.
So my father and I packed up all my possessions in a moving van and headed north to start my new life with Sailor and our almost one year old daughter. Unfortunately, there was no housing available on base so we had to live about an hour away in absolutely beautiful Virginia. We had barely crossed the border into Virginia when I realized I was in love with the lush green pastures and majestic mountains (remember I’m a Florida girl). Even better was the cool May air and no humidity! I was in love.
We pulled up to our small two bedroom quad and saw a brown bunny hopping across the yard. I couldn’t believe how beautiful our neighborhood was, and was left breathless as I watched the sun descend over the mountains from our front yard. This was heaven on earth!
My dad helped us move in, stayed a few days, and then headed back to Florida, leaving Sailor, Big Mac (our daughter) and me to figure out how to make this family thing work. It was hard. It didn’t take too long until I realized why I left Panama. We simply had nothing in common. We fought about everything. Sailor worked long hours which was probably a benefit as that left less time for fighting!
We could only afford one vehicle, which Sailor drove back and forth to work each day, leaving me car-less, friendless, and feeling helpless. I took Big Mac on walks during the day to get out of the house and waited anxiously for Sailor to come home so we could go somewhere, anywhere, just to get out. This worked until winter arrived one day and when I returned from our walk I realized her boogers had frozen to her face. We stopped walking. Sailor on the other hand would come home from work exhausted after his commute over the mountain, and just wanted to veg at home. More conflict.
After a few months I realized that we were poor. We didn’t have any money. Sailor had racked up some debt in Panama, and we were still paying off his pre-marriage debt. There just wasn’t enough paycheck to stretch from month to month. I was determined not to go any further into debt, so Sailor got a part time job at the local grocery store. He began to work three or four nights a week so we could pay down our debt and start saving money. Sailor also wanted to go back to college and finish his degree, and there was no way we could afford for him to get out of the Navy and go back to school until our finances changed.
I would balance our checkbook at the end of each month and was excited when we had anything more than a few cents. God always provided exactly what we needed each month, almost to the penny. We couldn’t afford snow boots for Big Mac so we wrapped her tennis shoes in Ziploc bags when it snowed so she could play outside. We couldn’t afford a sled so Sailor pulled her around the yard on a piece of cardboard. Sailor also began dumpster diving for outdated food so we could eat. We were broke, but we survived.
Just when things started to look up and I began to think we could stop eating our produce from the dumpster, Sailor hit a patch of ice on the mountain and crashed our only car into the guard rail. We didn’t have rental insurance so we were left without a vehicle for 5 weeks. Sailor got rides to work and one friend was nice enough to take me to the mall a few times even though we didn’t have any money to spend. We got our car back Christmas Eve, probably one of the best presents ever!
I also found out that I was pregnant again. We had talked about a sibling for Big Mac, but were surprised at how quickly our discussion turned into a reality. This was hard for me, because in the back of my mind I felt like I could make it on my own with Big Mac if I had to, but two kids changed everything. I no longer had a safety net, this baby meant my marriage to Sailor was forever. And when things were rough, that was a hard pill to swallow.
January came and so did a blizzard. Like two Floridians we began shoveling snow almost immediately. I remember laughing and joking as we shoveled our sidewalk in the snowy downpour. I am sure our neighbors were laughing twice as hard at the two idiots who thought shoveling snow the first hour of a 36 hour snowstorm was a good way to expend some energy. I was quite surprised when a few hours later our walk was again covered in snow. We shoveled. A few hours later I realized that shoveling snow at the beginning of a storm is kind of a waste of energy. But Sailor and I had fun laughing at ourselves and our Florida ways. And laughter was good, because it didn’t happen very often.
Two days and six feet of snow later I looked out our front window and thought our car had been stolen. I then realized that a white car in a snow drift tends to disappear. I also found out that snow is only fun until you can’t feel your fingers or toes anymore, then it is not fun. I also realized that winter lasts forever and a two bedroom apartment becomes very small when you never leave it.
Time continued to pass and Sailor and I tried to make it work. We went to church occasionally, and made a few friends. Things were tough, I was pregnant, tired, and bored. I tried to pass the time by teaching myself how to cook. Because we were on WIC, most of my dishes consisted of milk, eggs, and cheese. Sailor gained 10 pounds. I tried to make crafts, they were never very pretty, but Sailor acted like he thought they were nice. I taught myself how to sew, sort of… I planned to go back to college and finish my degree. I wanted to live again.
Sailor and I learned how to coexist. I wasn’t miserable anymore, but I was far from Happy.
This post is linking to Your Life, Your Blog.
Kristi says
Have you finished this story yet? Did I miss it somewhere? I had to google to get to this page since it isn’t linked anywhere else on your site haha!
C.W. says
Is this the last chapter?
Sidnie says
What a beautiful story. I haven’t read from the beginning, but I’m clicking back there now.
Keep telling.
Real Life Sarah says
The end of your post had me really wanting to read the rest of the story! I KNOW your story of how you survived will encourage others who are going through this!
Jen says
I sooooo look forward to these posts, yeah!!!
Thank you-I was married young too and we wasted many years growing up-lol I was fortunate to be completely infertile which forced us to wait to have a family. 20 years married now with a five and eight year old.
Amy L says
I just read the entire story to date and I must agree you REALLY should write a book on marriage. It is a blessing to read this. Thank you.
Jen@Balancing Beauty and Bedlam says
Yep, you are a little stinker to leave off right there, especially when we all know we’ll have to wait… 🙂
Well, we all know the end of the story but who has patience to wait for the in between.
Rachel says
I just read your story and where you left off is right where I am now. Can´t wait to read the rest. I needed this encouragement.
Is this the first part?
Marie says
Your story is a great reminder to a lot of us who think we’re “poor” but can still afford a lot of luxuries that you clearly lived without. Thanks for the perspective!
Sue says
MUST. HAVE. MORE!!!! SOON! 🙂 This is killing me, waiting for the next installment. I LOVE reading this!
WidneyWoman says
Thanks for continuing the story!! I am amazed at how far you have come in your marriage.
Serenity says
Loved the newest edition of your story 🙂 Thank you for sharing it.
jenyonthespot says
I have been catching up on this much of the morning… Wow. What a story. Wow.
Dana says
Even if you know the man you marry very very well I as i did when i got married, it is hard. most of us are not given the proper tools to handle marriage the way it should. that is why the divorce rate is so high.
Amy @ MomsToolbox says
Happy sister in law here…
WOW! I remember those days so well. It seems like eons away.
Wow. How we’ve grown. But I still cherish my Christmas ornament you made that year. And I cherish the memories of the trips I took to visit y’all. Thanks for letting me do my laundry at your place. 🙂
And thanks for the late nights of talking almost all night long. Oh– and the blue hands from the couch!
Angela says
I was so happy to see another chapter in your story posted today – thank you for sharing your life experiences with all of us 🙂
Anne-Marie says
When I first moved to FL & married my husband, I busied myself immediately with keeping the house & working on the yard…which was covered in pine needles. After a long day of yard work, I proudly told my new husband that I had raked up 10 lawn-sized garbage bags full of pine needles. He said, “That’s nice, but you’re just gonna have to do it again in 3 days.” Three days later I was out there raking again! After 10 more bags, the infinity of the situation was finally starting to sink in & that was the last time I raked up pine needles.
Having grown up in the snow belt of NW Indiana, snow I can handle. The endless shedding of pine needles…grrr.
Nancy M. says
It’s been awhile! I’ve missed your stories, can’t wait to read the next part!
Wendy says
Thanks so much for sharing your story. I have enjoyed it so much! It’s so amazing what God can do for two ordinary people when they turn their lives to Him. I know the Lord worked many miracles in my own marriage, which was also a big rough at first. My DH was not saved when we were first married, although I thought he was. We were both in the Navy too.
Enjoy your blog. Please write more, you’ve left us hanging again! 🙂
Katie says
Oh My Gosh! That sounds like Sugar Grove Wva, I was stationed there for 3 yrs. Beautiful crossing the mountian to “town” Be glad you did not live on base…it would have been worse!
Keeley says
*squeal of delight* Thank you for posting another installment.
I’m absolutely astounded at the tenacity and perseverance both of you displayed. It sounds like it was absolutely awful, but I’m so happy for you both that you hung in there. =) What a great example.
Can’t wait to read the next installment… =)
Young Wife says
Your story is so great! Can’t wait to read the next installment.
Linda says
I didn’t realize you were at that point when you moved to WVa. I thought it was later. I always enjoy reading your story, but I wish you wouldn’t wait so long in between parts!
TheHappyHousewife says
Linda-
That was the first time I lived in WVA…. we lived there twice. 🙂
Toni
Liz says
and we’re glad you did (live there twice)!!
Upstatemomof3 says
I really love reading your story! I am amazed and awed by what you went through and how you were able to work through it. You are all so happy now it seems like you could never have been this unhappy. 🙂
Allyson says
Oh, this bring back so many memories of when we were first stationed (with the Army) at DLI. Here I was living in our post house with our (then) one year old baby, very overwhelmed with the culture shock of military life (though now I really miss it) and my husband was temporarily living in the barracks while he finished up a specific training exercise. Our one car had broken and I had no means of driving anywhere for a few weeks. I walked to the PX and Commissary and PWOC/chapel. And I got very good at fixing creative meals using, WIC items, bread, hot dogs, and whatever else I could scrounge up on the ‘clearance’ sale shelves at the Commisary!
I am so glad you are continuing to write your story. I never tire of seeing the power of God at work, changing lives.
Rebecca says
Thanks for this, I have anxiously been awaiting the next installment. Your story is truly a testament to God’s work in our lives. He is so merciful to us!
Hallee says
I’ve really enjoyed reading your story. My husband and I laughed over the beginning and “the long haired hippie.” Hysterical. I look forward to reading more.
Bree says
You could seriously write a book, how many people can say they stuck to a marriage in the way you two have and came out “HAPPY”!
Amanda from Faith, Food and Family says
You’re killing me! LOL I have waited and waited for you to post another segment. Then you do and it’s just not enough! LOL Can’t wait to read more!
God bless,
Amanda
P.S. I know that feeling of isolation well. A few years ago DH got a job in OH (we’re from TN and all our family is here). We only had one car as well. And he had to travel often leaving me with 2 children, no friends, no car. It was a very difficult time. I am a very social person so it definitely was hard. I love reading your story!
Southern Gal says
Thanks for continuing to share your story.
I remember the first time we visited family in Virginia. I fell in love. And they lived in Chesapeake! Think of how I felt when we drove the Blue Ridge Beltway for the first time…besides car sick. Beautiful state.
And as children we always wore bread bags over our sneakers to play in the snow. Why buy snow boots (where could you find them anyway?) when you’d outgrow them before the next big snow in five or six years?
Michele says
You should write a book! Thank you for sharing your story I am hooked!
Andrea says
I do enjoy your story (and hope this isn’t the end of it!). I too married someone I hardly knew (went out to California in 1993 and got involved in a cult, which is where we met. We met in May, started dating in June and got married in October). We have 6 kids but as we are so different, it is really hard! I would recommend to anyone considering getting married to get to know the person really well first!!!!!! Please continue the story soon—I’m still waiting till you get to the “happy” part!!!!
Molly says
I, too, really enjoy reading your story.
Monica says
I have so enjoyed reading your story of transformation. Each one leaves me waiting for more. Thank you for sharing something that I’m sure has been hard for you!