I’ve always thought of the first day of deployment as the hardest.
Until the next hardest day.
The days leading up to the first day are like a bandaid being slowly pulled off your skin.
I’ve always been a rip the bandaid off sort or person, so the last several days have been hard. That slow, constant pain of knowing what is to come, but not being able to change it.
I actually looked forward to this day because it meant the pain of leaving would be over.
I kept saying, things will be better once you leave. It’s the impending knowledge of what’s to come, the tears, the children that cannot be comforted, that I was dreading.
And it happened just like I knew it would. Tears, kids snuggled in bed with me, questions I cannot answer, promises I cannot make.
I tell them we’ll be stronger because of this, we’ll be closer, we’ll do this together because we’re in this together.
And we will.
My husband has been deployed to the Middle East for 274 days. These are my real thoughts expressing my heart during his absence. I appreciate your prayers and kind words as we cope, adapt, and carry on without him until August 2014. To read from the beginning, click here.
Jeri says
I’m just catching up on my reading from last April. Months and months behind. I’m so sorry he got deployed. I didn’t realize they were still sending people with all the talk of bringing people back. Hang in there…praying for your family.
Diane says
Bless your heart, and it sounds like you keep busy home schooling, cleaning, and your blog. However, it doesn’t make up for time missed and special occasions. When I am out and about and see an uniformed person, I thank them for severing. I was president of Civ-Aires that consist of Civilian’s/Guard/Air Force and I told the women that were there to always thank a person when you see them out in public. I think it is something we all should do. They keep us save, give up their weekends so that we don’t have to.
Please keep us updated and if you ever need someone to listen to you, just email me.
Becky L says
Aww, I really like the photo of your children! So special and now you must brave each day, looking to the Lord for your strength as well. Remember, His mercies are new every morning! (Lamentations 3:22-27) Hugs to you and the children and most importantly, prayers for your deployed husband for safety and wisdom and for you and the children through this time of re-adjustment. :0)
Becky L says
Yes, thanks for what you do as a Navy mom!!
Cindy A says
I wish I had children to snuggle with me. 🙂 Prayers for you, him, and the young ones.
Angie Kauffman says
Praying for you and your family, Toni!
Katena says
Yo look awesome as a military spouse I feel your pain. Each day will get a little better and closer once he gets back. Sending prayers.
Valerie says
It really is SOOOOO hard. We’ve been Army for 13 years. Two very long deployment, and tons of shorter ones later, I can attest to everything you are saying. I am so sorry. God always grew me in my relationship with Christ during those times, but It never was “easy”, just doable, because of the Lord. I am so sorry.
Tina Hale says
My husband is retired Navy and I understand what you are going through. He was deployed on a ship when both of my babies were born. That was a long time ago; when we first married, he was out 4 months and in port 4 months; then 6 months and 6 months out. At one point in his career he was gone for 9 months. I understand the pain and the sacrifices that are made to support the loved one. You and your family are in my prayers. GODSPEED.
Rebecca says
Yep, that bandaid being ripped off is always something I head for, too. But then, it’s the after the bandaid that requires the most care. You are an amazing Mom – and your Husband and children are blessed. I’m praying for you and know that God will carry you through.
And on a slightly different note, thank you for serving our country. Your whole family is serving. That. Matters.
Kim says
This is also deployment day #1 for me. I know exactly what you mean about the days leading up to him leaving. I kept thinking “hurry up and leave already” because I hate the goodbyes and bawling like a baby. 🙂 I hate to see him go, but now that he’s gone the countdown to homecoming has commenced.
Lynette says
Deployment is so hard. I knew it was hard but after my brother deployed for 13 months to Afghanistan last year I lived it. Witnessing that made me realize that military families are the most sacrificial people I will ever proudly know. Thanks for your sacrifice. Seriously. Thanks. You all will be stronger but in the meantime – you’ll all be in my prayers.
Laura says
I completely understand the band-aid analogy. My husband was supposed to leave for training and immediately deploy (with no time to come back home and say goodbye before the deployment). So the days leading up to it went by incredibly slow and I was just wanting to get it over with. They finished the training and then decided to bring the ship back for 3 weeks before the deployment! I was thinking, “I don’t think I can go through this again!” But I did, and we came out the other side better for it. Thank you for your sacrifice.We will be praying for your husband and your family.
Stef Layton says
hate this – counting down with you and praying for y’all along the way!
Michelle says
Speaking as another military spouse and understanding the trials and tribulations that go with any deployment, I hope that the days go quickly and your spouse returns safely!
Stephanie says
I also am thankful for the sacrifice your family makes. Our prayers are with your husband while he serves our country and with you and the kids while you keep the home fires burning.
Leigh says
I have been where you are many times and I agree, the days leading up to your spouse leaving are some of the hardest. Lean on friends and family when you need them. Prayers for you all.
Michelle says
My husband just came back from deployment in April. Our four year old took it hard like I thought he would; my husband missed our youngest sons 1st birthday and my husband had a hard time with that as did the one year old. The entire time my husband was gone the baby would only call me Daddy, not once would he say Momma. It is so hard on the children but it is also so difficult for the service men/women. People often ask how do I do it? I do because there is no choice, it is my role as a spouse and mother. May God bless you and yours!
Susan@Organized31 says
Thank you to your family for your service and sacrifice. I’ve been there with you as a miliary brat, as a veteran leaving my children behind and as a military wife. You all are strong enough to face each day. My heart is with you.
Cherie says
With appreciation for your sacrifice, all of you, I can only offer prayers for safe reunion as soon as possible. And gratitude.
Cathy @ Chief Family Officer says
I can’t imagine how hard it must be! Hang in there … I’ll be praying for his safe return!
Tiffany says
Praying for your family.