This weekend I started to type a detailed post regarding Cora and my time in the hospital. The more I typed the more I realized I was only putting words on the screen. These words couldn’t capture the dept of emotion that characterized those days, trying to write them is a task I cannot undertake.
A friend delivered dinner tonight and saw Cora for the first time out of the NICU. He told us never to forget where she came from, how God healed her and me, and sustained us through that time.
He was right. I want to remember those first days, but not the details. I want to remember all the people who prayed for her, all the nurses who cared for her, all the doctors that made decisions about her care. I am thankful for everyone who touched our lives during our short time at the hospital.
I am thankful that Cora only needed “a little help.” As I sat with her in the NICU I was surrounded by babies much sicker than her. I wondered if anyone was praying for them, I wondered if they would ever go home.
Even though those days were overwhelming and I shed a lot of tears, I was more overwhelmed at the outpouring of kindness and support I received, from the lady who cleaned my hospital room, to a former pastor, to people I have never met.
As I type, Cora lays beside me, looking around the room, her tiny hands grasping for things unseen. She will never remember her traumatic beginnings and for that I am thankful. But I will never let her forget where she came from and who sustained her.
So there will not be a detailed part two, the memories of details have already begun to fade.
Her story is just beginning….
Cheri says
Twenty years ago I gave birth to my 33-week baby boy. He was transferred to the baby hospital across town the next day, so I was discharged from the maternity ward without a baby. He was in NICU for 5 days, and came home when he was 17 days old. Now he is a sophomore in college, bigger and stronger than both his daddy and his big brother. I look at him and see the goodness of God.
Thank you for sharing your story. The details are unnecessary for us to see the mercies of God.
Alyssa says
What a beautiful post and a beautiful daughter. I have said so many times since my son was born how thankful I am that he was born healthy. Congratulations!
Trina says
This post made me a bit weepy. We should look at things this way more often. Life, and indeed, all the blessings that surround us daily are constant reminders of God’s overwhelming love for us.
Blessings to you and your beautiful (and newly expanded) family.
Courtney @ Sister To Sister says
Such a wonderful post and a wonderful reminder!
Thank you.
Somebody's Mimi says
My son is 40 and when I see him I see a precious gift from God, period. He was born 3 months early and was quite small but I turned his life over to God. I just gave birth to him, but God kept him alive. I totally understand your feelings. A gift from God is just that. Praise the Lord. Blessings are everywhere.
Bree says
Toni- When your little Cora was born I was glad to see you took pictures. When my premie was born 10 years ago I wish i had taken at least a few pictures but as you said you get to a point where you just want the nightmare to end the the happy days of bringing your baby home to begin and you concentrate all your energy into that and the details of the time just don’t matter, all that matters is that they get better….So glad your little one is home with you now.
Jen says
I typed my first daughter’s birth story and subsequent week stay in the NICU and save it on the computer before I emailed it to friends. Seven years ago that computer completely fried and we lost everything. It was a blessing because like you I want to remember that though she was there she was surrounded by love and ins God’s hands. For her first few Christmases I always sent the NICU nurses a Christmas card showing them what a healthy girl she had grown into because of their care and love. They are truly angels. I think I need to write them another letter and let them know that 8 years later I still remember what they did for me, my husband and my daughter. Your Cora is a beautiful girl and blessed to have been born into your family. Hugs, Jen
Sherry says
What a blessing Cora is! Beautiful post!
Jen says
Such a sweet post(brought a tear to my eye). God bless baby Cora and your entire family.
momstheword says
Fancy running into you at WFMW, too! It was great to “talk” to you again. I totally understand how busy you are, goodness! Newborns take time but they are so precious so who minds it, right?
So glad you and Cora are home and doing well. She is precious!
Amanda says
Beautifully put…PTL for God’s love and mercy to you all. Little Cora is blessed!
Amy says
Hi there,
My 5th child was born under very traumatic circumstances for both of us. I had a blood clot in my lung and she was born with an apgar of 1 and whisked off to the NICU. I was truly so sick that I didn’t know what was going on most of the time, but more poor husband kept going back and forth between the two of us. When we were both recovered, I knew that God had blessed us, but didn’t know how deep the pain and sadness of what had happened went. When she turned 1, for the first time, I felt like I couldn’t really celebrate the day she was born because it had been so sad and scary.She is four and I just showed her some of the pictures of her in the NICU, and again, the depth of what happened it me again. I told her she was a miracle and that God had healed both of us. She thought that was very neat.
Your baby is so sweet. Thanks for sharing her story!
Netta says
Praising God with you! You’re an amazing lady I’m blessed & encouraged by your blog.
NancyP says
Oh, Toni, there are so many people who will help you tell Cora about her first days with you…and you will rejoice together that family and friends and people you’ll never meet prayed all of you through those first days.
None of us have perfect beginnings, but I think that’s because God, in His wisdom, has designed such a perfect ending for us all. I am convinced you will tell Cora all the things you’ve told us, and she’ll realize from a young age that the Good Lord has taken care of her as He promised…
WidneyWoman says
Congratulations on the birth of your daughter, Cora. I love your refreshed attitude.
I’m reading your site and getting caught up. Truly, I don’t want to seem insensitive or anything, but…Where is the rest of the how I came to be a happy housewife story?? You left me hanging at the part where you fly back to Florida for the birth of #1. I gotta go to bed! But your story has me rivoted, Happy Housewife!! Am I not looking in the right place?
Heidi @ ggip says
Very sweet post.
Your are right, no matter how sick your child is, there are always kids who could be considered doing worse. It is sad and happy all at once.
I really loved the cleaning personnel when we had our long hospitalization. And when I complimented them on their thoroughness, they were so sweet about it, it almost made me cry.
lis says
what a beautiful and perfect post!
Jessi says
What a beautifully written post!
michelle says
Wow. I missed a lot of this. So sorry.
My prayers are with all of you. Hugs.
Nancy M. says
That’s so sweet! It’s definitely a blessing that she is doing so well!
Sherri Brenneman-Bell says
Thanks for letting us see you & meet little Cora! What a beauty she is & what a miracle! Being a nurse I was all set for part 2, gore & all… ah well. Thankfulness is even better!
Love you!
Phoebe @ Cents to Get Debt Free says
You are so right–the details don’t matter. Her life is just beginning.
My oldest began life in the NICU–and it pains me to relive the first 6 months of his life. One day I will recount parts of it, just so he knows that he is a walking miracle.
God is SO good! So happy she is home with you and your family!
S. Warner says
You could not have handled the second part of your story any better. It helps us all to celebrate the blessings and let the trials go. Thanks for the uplifting post.
I would like to request that all of you pray for my son and daughter-in-law. They are trying to have a baby and everything is going against them. Pray for healing in their bodies
Thank you.
Terri W says
You are so right.
Every now and again, I look at my now 3yo bouncing baby boy and think, “You were BLUE when you came out!”
As we found out later, the umbilical cord had only been attached to the placenta by two veins, the rest had been worn away, rubbing against a growth on my uterus. (A regular ultrasound doesn’t catch this, by the way.) The cord snapped during the last push of labor.
So many different ways it could have all ended tragically, but it did not.
(Thank you, God.)
I’ve never been able to write out his birth story yet, either. Even three years later.
Beth@Not a Bow in Sight says
I know what you mean…sometimes reliving and retelling brings back all the overwhelming emotions of the experience. After our NICU experience I realized just how lucky we were too. I’m so glad she is home and doing well.
Christina Taylor says
GOD knows the details, He is the one to remember in her ordeal. She is definitely a blessed baby. What joy you and your husband must have when you hold and love her.
MNKristy says
What a sweet post…your words at the end bring tears to my eyes. You are absolutely right…the details are not important. Praise God that she is home with her family with a lifetime ahead of her. God Bless you all.
Josie says
You are right we must be thankful for what we have and those who have helped us get there. It reminds me of one of favourite sayings:
“You cannot change the past, you can only change the future”