“You know, no one is really happy here with dad gone.”
I tried really hard to not take it personally. But my son was right. No one is happy with dad gone. Each kid is dealing with it in a different way, and some of them are less happy than others. But there is always an underlying sadness around here.
I can’t fix it, I can’t make it better.
I’m at a loss for how to move forward when all my kids are stuck.
My husband has been deployed to the Middle East for 274 days. These are my real thoughts expressing my heart during his absence. I appreciate your prayers and kind words as we cope, adapt, and carry on without him until August 2014. To read from the beginning, click here.
Sarrina says
Just like the others I cry with each post because you all are so very lucky to have each other and a wonderful father, husband and partner that you miss so much. I have held my comments also just like the others because I thought oh she doesn’t need another comment from someone saying the same thing.
Today… I wanted to tell you and your children. It’s ok to not be happy when dad is gone, if you are mad or sad it’s ok but most of all it’s ok to be happy while he’s gone also. Dad and you are all doing this super heroic thing so everyone else including you can do the things that make you happy. When you get time to Skype or talk to Dad he wants to know you miss him but it makes it so much harder to be away when you think that what you are doing is making everyone miserable.
You have done a phenomenal job of being strong and holding the family together. I’ve read every post wondering if I could do the same in your situation. Maybe what the kids need now.. is to see mom falling on the floor laughing. Find something you think is hilarious and do that.. find a joke you think is funny and tell it over and over.. find a video of someone in the house doing something crazy that makes you laugh. A real laugh and let the kids see that. If you cant come up with something then maybe put together a third of the way party… you are one third done with the deployment!!!!! Celebrate that with a laughing contest… who can laugh the loudest, the longest.. take bets on who wets themselves or shoots water out of their noses first.. have a tickle fest whatever so there is laughter in the house too. Drive the underlying sadness away with a laugh and enjoy the momentary peace that comes from the sad being gone.
You are a third of the way!!!!!!!! Woohoo 1 down 2 more to go 🙂 You can do it and we’ll all be doing it right here with you.
Jennifer-Mommy Life After Ph.D. says
Deployments stink–no doubt about it. Would a skype session help if possible? Maybe put a care package together and send it to dad with letters from each kiddo? Or maybe they need a trip to grandma’s to take their mind off of it? Sorry, I’m a problem-solver, can’t help it! Hang in there!!!
MC says
I too have been tempted to comment, but was afraid it would come across wrong. I can’t imagine what this must be like, but have a good friend going through the same thing. I would just like to gently remind us all that our kids follow our lead. Many prayers!
Kari J. says
I’ve read every one of your deployment posts and have been tempted to comment more than once, but then I figured you’ve heard it all already. Today something new hit me — isn’t it wonderful you are all so fiercely saddened by the absence of your husband? Imagine if he’d left for his 274 day deployment and y’all didn’t miss a beat — life just went on and his absence was barely noticed? Now that would break my heart.
I cry every time I read how sad you are or how hard this is — I can’t even begin to imagine how y’all keep going — but your sorrow is such a testimony of the love you feel for the man who had to leave you to go serve his country. I am so grateful for the sacrifice your husband, you and your children make every day to keep our country safe and free. Thank you. Praying for you all as you continue to just get through each day.
Teresa says
I’m sorry for what your family is going thru.
I can’t imagine.
Maybe you can get your children to plan some surprises for your husband. Prepare a special package for him to be mailed with art work, etc.
or maybe make a short skit to send to him via mail or on-line.
Keep the kids busy preparing for his return.
Make a calendar for his return with a list of events or things they want to do with dad (fishing, camping, etc)
Hang in there