This the story of how I became “The Happy Housewife.” You might want to start at the beginning.
I saw the blood in the diaper and having already been through this experience with my older son I knew it was not normal.
I panicked, ran back to my hospital bed, grabbed the phone and called one of my friends who was a nurse. When she answered I told her that something was very wrong and that happy baby’s diaper was full of blood.
She told me to hang up the phone immediately and call the nurse on duty. She couldn’t help me from her living room.
I pushed the nurse’s button and waited forever (at least it seemed like forever) for the nurse to come to the room. When she finally arrived she had my discharge paperwork in hand and told me I could go home as soon as someone came to pick up me.
I told her I was not going anywhere until I knew what was wrong with happy baby. She peaked into his diaper and told me that was normal. I told her it was not normal and I wasn’t going anywhere.
She was obviously very frustrated that I was refusing to sign my discharge paperwork. Finally she told me she would call the intern to come and talk to me. I told her that I would not talk to any intern or resident and that I wasn’t leaving until I saw the staff doctor.
She was getting very irritated with me, but I stood my ground. It was all I could do to not burst into tears. I was exhausted, afraid, and very mad.
Finally the intern showed up. I politely told her that I did not want to talk to her, I wanted to talk to the staff doctor. She tried to explain what happened to happy baby, I told her that I wasn’t going to listen to her and that a staff doctor better get in my room or else.
Now, I’m not really sure what the or else meant, but when you have just had a baby, shared a toilet with another lady who just had a baby, and haven’t slept for three days “or else” means something.
Finally the staff doctor showed up. He explained to me that when they started the circumcision they noticed a possible malformation and the only way to fix the malformation was to use part of the skin normally removed in a circumcision.
They had to stop the procedure in the middle in order to save the skin for a possible future operation because the malformation could not be confirmed until our son was older.
Basically our son had half a circumcision and that was the reason for the increased bleeding.
I was aghast. I could not believe the hospital was planning on discharging me and happy baby without even telling me what had happened. When I shared my concern with the doctor he told me there was a note on my paperwork to NOT discharge me until he had come to explain the situation.
The ward was filling up and the nurse was in a hurry to put a new patient in my room so she ignored the instructions and had planned to send me home without any knowledge of the partial procedure.
I was livid. In fact I was so angry that I do not even remember what I said or did after that moment until Sailor arrived at the hospital.
Sailor arrived and I made a mental note to never have a baby in a military hospital again. This was our first military hospital birth and it was going to be my last!
Earlier that morning I called Sailor and asked for some clothes to wear home from the hospital. I requested my sweat pants and also asked if he would buy me some underwear suitable for wearing after you’ve had a baby.
In his hurry to get to the hospital he grabbed a skirt by mistake and bought the biggest, ugliest pair of granny panties you could imagine at Target on the way. I hesitated even putting them on because they went up to my neck (I’m only sort of kidding) but since I didn’t have any other options I wore my skirt and granny panties home from the hospital.
It was time to start our life as a family of five.
Cory says
This is horrible. There is no reason to circumcise an infant.
1. The chance of a baby’s circumcision being botched is HIGHER than the chance of him ever developing a problem with his foreskin in his life.
There will never be a need for circumcision, since any of the rare foreskin issues that may occur can be cured with antibiotics and non-surgical methods.
2. Circumcision is NOT cleaner. The foreskin protects against disease and bacteria, the same way that the eyelids protect the eyes. An intact boy only has to pull back the foreskin and let the water run over the glans in order to keep himself clean. Actual population statistics show that circumcised men have 3-4 times HIGHER rate of STDs and AIDS than intact men.
3. The foreskin is not a birth defect. It is a healthy part of the male body and has many important functions. It’s not “extra skin”. It is the tip of the penis. The foreskin protects the glans from infection and abrasion from rubbing against clothing. It is an important protective membrane — the same as the eyelids, lips, and nostrils. Females also have a foreskin. The foreskin lubricates enhances sexual pleasure for both the male and female. It contains thousands of pleasurable nerve endings, as sensitive as the nerve endings in our fingertips. Males lose 70% of these pleasurable nerve endings during circumcision.
4. Circumcision is not a “quick snip”. It’s a surgery in which they strap the baby down and cut off a healthy, protective, and useful part of his penis.
Circumcision is extremely painful. At birth, the foreskin is fuzed in place, and doesn’t separate on its own until childhood or puberty. The first step in circumcision is ripping the foreskin away from the glans, which results in the nerve endings being torn away, and permanently desensitizes the head of the penis. The American Academy of Pediatrics describes the pain of circumcision as “severe and persistent”. Even with anesthetic (which is rarely used) the pain cannot be entirely eliminated. The needle itself is very painful and must be shot into multiple areas of the baby’s genital region–including straight into the head of the penis. A dorsal nerve block (the most commonly used anesthetic) only numbs the top of the penis. Once the doctor begins cutting the underside of the penis, the pain is felt full force. Circumcision involves crushing the foreskin with a cold metal clamp. Once the foreskin is crushed for a few minutes, the foreskin is cut away with surgical scissors and knives–slicing apart veins and nerves. Many babies go into shock from the intense pain and stop reacting.
5. Circumcision is psychologically damaging. Studies show that boys and men who were circumcised in infancy are more sensitive to pain than girls and intact boys. Circumcised men also have a higher incidence of emotional problems, trust issues, and trouble communicating.
6. No medical organization in the world recommends circumcision. The United States is the only country left that continues regular circumcision in hospitals. Other countries, such as Canada and Australia have discontinued the practice in their hospitals because the surgery is severely damaging to the infant and has no benefits.
Most parents today are NOT having their boys circumcised. Since 2009, less than 30% of infant boys in the United States have been circumcised.
Amanda says
Wow. Is this a forum to bash military hospitals? For all of you out there, there are good military hospitals and there are some TERRIBLE civilian ones. Sorry so many if tpu have haf bad experiences but please don’t generalize…if for no other reason than some folks can’t afford not to use their military hospital.
TheHappyHousewife says
My husband was a nurse in a military hospital for four years so I’m not bashing them, just sharing my experiences. I’ll welcome comments good and bad regarding military and civilian hospitals. 🙂
Amanda Y. says
My goodness that’s horrifying! Can’t wait to keep hearing your story though!
Angela says
i hope you had the rest of the babies at home! and had a moyle do your next circumcision! can’t wait to read more!
Barbara C. says
I had both my kids in a military hospital, and I feel you definitely with the sharing the room thing. With my first, the epidural FELL OUT. As in FELL OUT OF MY SPINE. I was in full natural birth for nearly 15 hours with them telling me to stop screaming and save my energy for pushing, for which I had none. Three hours of push labor, and my daughter was in trouble. My general practitioner was there and had to be directed by the Jersey Shore OB to get the forceps, for which he chose wrong TWICE. The OB nearly yelled, “The salad-tong looking things!” Then they overshot me with some pain meds when the finally checked the epidural, and I missed the birth–or dragging out–of my first child.
The second military hospital was slightly better, but could not get an epidural in either, and let me tear rather than perform an episiotomy (sp?). Lets just say I nearly passed out when I found stitches going both north and south on me, and that one very sensitive “button” area sewn back together like Frankenstein.
Yeah, never, ever again.
Nicole Hunt says
Wow. I am so sorry you had such a scary thing happen to you. Just to play devils advocate for anyone reading who is debating between the two options, I delivered both times (4 children total) in military hospitals, with military doctors, and I couldn’t be more pleased. My second pregnancy I lived in the military hospital for 4 weeks after PTL at 29 weeks, and delivered three perfect triplets. The NICU was amazing, and I will forever be indebted to both the OB staff and the NICU staff for the care they did for me and my babies. Our hospital bill in the “real” world would have been upwards of $2 million, and my copay alone on our old civilian insurance would have been over $40,000. I walked away with $5 for a med I didn’t want to wait to get at the pharmacy there, and that was it.
Kami says
I can relate to a point as well. I have had 2 kids. One in a military TRAINING hospital and one in a civilian hospital…..military hospital was a NIGHTMARE!!!!! We don’t plan on having any more kiddos, but I know I would do everything in my power to go OFF BASE if i could. Thankfully if that were to happen while at Tinker AFB (where we are now) I would be sent off base. They don’t have a full hospital, only a clinic….Thank the Lord for small favors.
stacey says
Molly and Sharon, I hear ya! I was induced with my daughter and after about 4 hours and no one even checking on my progress in at least 2 I knew something wasn’t right. I asked my husband to get the nurse whom blew me off. A few more minutes went by and I demanded to be checked. I was crowning and starting to deliver her head. The nurse started screaming my husband ran to the nurse station and found my doc. standing there. Needless to say he walked in just in time to guide her out. No pushing, no gloves, nothing in the room was ready for the baby, no one from peds was there for my preemie. Apparently after delivering a 10 lb, 22 inch long baby son 15 months before my body felt that a 4 lb 7 oz, 16 inch long baby was nothing! She had a 0, 1 minute Apgar and a 3 by the 5 minute. They sent us home less than 20 hours later! She ended up back in the hospital by 3 weeks for resp. issues that she had likely come home with.
Margo says
Oh my goodness, I can totally agree and relate to the fact that everyone needs to be an advocate for themselves or have a family member that can for them, in all medical situations. With heart attacks, bleeding ulcers, cancer, diabetes, kidney surgery, hernia surgery, head trauma, possible hepatitis contamination, thyroid isssues… we have had so many experiences in our family that have been shocking, and where WE have had to bring things to the doctors’ attention or they would have overlooked things and made big mistakes. Once when my youngest son was a baby, a nurse actually licked her finger, wiped his arm where the needle was to go in, and then jammed the needle in. I was so shocked I froze up, and I have always regretted not acting fast enough.
I do appreciate those in the medical field as they have been helpful and life saving in some situations, BUT I would encourage everyone to make sure you do your homework and try your best to stay on top of medical concerns, and be aware of what is going on in a hospital or even doctors office situation.
SarahB says
I hate to bash military hospitals, I’m sure there are good people there in L and D, but I for one will not be having another baby at one. My son was born via c section at a civilian hospital. It was no cake walk, but nothing out of the ordinary. My daughter was born by scheduled c section at “one of the best” Army medical centers and it was terrible. They gave me my spinal too high, so I was numb from the neck down. Couldn’t move my arms, which resulted in a panic attack on the operating table. Then, they gave me too much duramorph in my spinal, which then resulted in me having to go the 1st 24 hours after my C-section with zero pain medication. The next morning, the Doc comes in to me basically insane from the pain and tells me I coud have had meds if somebody had bothered to call him and ask ( I had begged all night for somebody to call the Dr., they lied and said they did and that he said no meds). They gave me an old school incision hip bone to hip bone, rather than the standard 4 inch incision I had gotten the 1st time. I could’ve had a tummy tuck with an incision like that!
My friend had a baby there, and they nearly killed her. They left in part of her placenta during her c section. She kept coming in for two weeks with huge clots and scary bleeding, they finally told her that she was crazy and nothing was wrong with her and ordered her not to come back. That night she hemmoraged in bed while sleeping and her husband woke up because he was laying in a pool of blood. She nearly died, had to have a major blood transfusion and another surgery. No thank you, never again. I’d rather pay a co-pay and go off post than have a baby in a military hospital again!
Lori says
Well, after 4 children and at 47 years of age, I actually prefer granny panties! I know they aren’t pretty but they sure do cover well. I have some “low cut briefs” that I really like but get tired of them slipping down under my tummy roll…very annoying. I miss the days of wearing cute little panties–the emphasis being on “little”.
I love reading every week’s installment. 🙂
Serenity says
Oh my goodness you poor thing! I only shared a room for 2 hours after baby #3 and I thought I would go insane!!!! The underwear part is priceless 🙂 After baby #5 I asked my hubby to bring me clothes to wear home and he FORGOT. I had to wear my pj’s home from the hospital with those weird underwear….. Yuck!
Christine says
I can’t believe they were going to send you home without telling you!! That’s not cool! Glad you stood your ground and found out the truth!!
Granny panties make me giggle.. my first vacation with my hubby (after our honeymoon) I totally forgot to pack panties, so we had to find a store and the only thing they sold were granny panties! Not cute, but I had no choice 🙂 hehe!
Nicole says
Way to stand your ground!
abba12 says
Good on you for demanding to see the doctor!
When I was being tested for cholestasis I saw nurse and intern one after another, and each one contradicted the last. First I definitly had it, then I definitly didn’t have it, then I might have had it, then I didn’t have it again. Finally I insisted on seeing a doctor to discover yes, I had it.
Some nurses are great. Some nurses are awful.
Laura says
Good for you! It’s disgraceful that the med staff didn’t inform you IMMEDIATELY about the problem. It’s also a bit disconcerting that they’d take a circumcision so carelessly. When I hear stories like this, I do not wonder that more women are opting for home births or alternative birth centers, and declining to have their sons circumcised.
Molly says
It always amazes me how much of modern medicine is just luck and patient advocacy. There are so many examples I can think of where I insisted something was wrong and a medical professional ignored and brushed aside my concerns, only to find out I was right. Not to say their aren’t good people out there in the medical field. All it takes though is 1 person who is having a bad day who lets that get in the way of their job and patients suffer. My son was born with no doctor in the room because as I insisted he was coming, my nurse insisted that it wasn’t possible since she just checked 30 minutes ago and I was only 4…I clearly needed to toughen up a bit if I thought this is what birth felt like. The midwife from the patient next door heard my husband yell for help and introduced herself after handing me our newly born son. She had just enough time to put on gloves.
Sharon says
I can relate to Happy. Gave birth in 2 military hospitals. The last time was with our 4th child. Labor had been getting shorter with each child, so I kind of figured she wouldn’t take long either. Sure enough, before I was fully dilated, I felt that urge to push. The doc was reading a book in another room-seriously, that’s where my husband found him- and didn’t believe the baby was coming. The nurse believed me, tho and checked me out. That was when I involuntarily pushed and the head was coming out. Then the stupid doctor was telling me not to push. Haha. I had no control over that. Our daughter was coming whether anyone was ready or not. I said a few choice words-according to my husband and the doc scrambled into place and voila-there she was. After delivery and when I was back in a room, he came to put in an IV, which they hadn’t been able to do before birth, and he hit an artery. I saw my blood shooting up in the air near my head. Lovely. Fortunately, a nurse was also there and took over. Thank you, Lord, for nurses.