So my site broke this weekend. When I first started blogging and my site broke I would freak out. I would spend hours on my computer and on the phone with the hosting company trying to get it fixed.<\/p>\n
Maybe I’ve grown up, or maybe I’m just apathetic but I just rode it out today. And when it finally started working again all the content from the last week was gone. Forever.<\/p>\n
The first think I thought of was the deployment series. I did not want to lose these posts. The rest of it I could live without, but not my little online diary.<\/p>\n
I was able to find most of the old posts through the daily emails so most of them are back up, but all the comments are gone. \ud83d\ude41<\/p>\n
Deployment day 66 is totally gone since my site crashed while it was saved but not published.<\/p>\n
It’s probably a good thing because it was basically a pity party!<\/p>\n
Today is my birthday. As far as birthday’s go, I’ve had better, but I’ve also had worse. I really just wanted the day to be over as soon as possible.<\/p>\n
Things are not even that bad, I mean there is a bunch of little crap, but nothing terrible. We have a house, food on the table, the kids like each other, we finished cleaning out the playroom today and only found two rotting bananas, things are good.<\/p>\n
But throughout the day I kept getting those Facebook notifications whenever someone wished me a happy birthday. You know, where people say things like hope you had an amazing day, hope you had fun, you deserve a day off….<\/p>\n
All the stuff I write on people’s walls when it’s their birthday.<\/p>\n
Except my day wasn’t amazing. It was crummy. I didn’t enjoy it, get a break, or sleep in. It was just like every other day, except because I wanted it to be something better I spent the day frustrated that it was just like every other day.<\/p>\n
Ahh, expectations. Being as old as I am now I should know better. I’ve had more bad birthdays than good- but yet every year I expect something better, not spectacular, just different.<\/p>\n
It made me think about how I treat people on their birthday. Do I really care if they had a good day? What have I done to make their day different?<\/p>\n
Usually it is nothing. That needs to change.<\/p>\n
Don’t get me wrong. I really love all the Facebook birthday messages. I love reading them, they put a smile on my face. But it just didn’t seem right, not this year.<\/p>\n
I’ve spent many birthdays with just me and kids so I’m not sure if it is the deployment or maybe I just don’t want to get any older.<\/p>\n
I actually feel bad for feeling bad. Isn’t that ridiculous?<\/p>\n
I’m sure tomorrow will be better.<\/p>\n