When Frugal was a Bad Word
January 5, 2009 > 9 Comments
Hello everyone, I am currently on vacation, but a few of my readers volunteered to take over the site while I am away! They have written some excellent posts that I am sure you will love. I also have some posts I wrote answering your burning questions about The Happy Housewife. Enjoy!
Hi! I am Mom from Momstheword and I am so happy to meet you all today. I am so excited to do a guest post for Toni because I love talking about frugality. I am a stay at home wife and mother to two wonderful sons, one of whom I homeschool. I love to blog about frugal living, homeschooling, organization, homemaking, parenting, and other topics. And if we can laugh along the way, it’s even better!
There was a time when the word “frugal” left a bad taste in my mouth. When the word “frugal” automatically meant “cheap or stingy” in my mind. On our first date, my husband sat and fished a Black Angus restaurant coupon out of the glove compartment of his car. I was appalled. I wanted him to like me at full price, not half off!
When we married and were both working, my husband and I agreed never to spend more than $100 without talking to one another first. We never spent huge amounts of money, and lived somewhat carefully, but we were not overly frugal either.
We ate out, a lot. Sometimes three or four nights a week. While shopping I didn’t agonize over whether to buy something or not. If I wanted it, and it wasn’t too expensive, I bought it. I wasn’t overly concerned about sales or coupons. I never stopped and asked myself if I really needed it or not.
Then came our first child and I wanted to stay home with my precious baby boy. Suddenly, we couldn’t even afford a hamburger at McDonalds. Then came our second precious son. Then the company my husband worked for closed it’s doors, and he was out of work for a year. Suddenly, frugal wasn’t a scary word, it was a lifeline.
I remember walking through the grocery store, my eyes so full of tears that I could barely see. I felt discouraged and defeated because I couldn’t even buy a jar of olives, because they were now a “luxury.” I felt frustrated and discouraged. I wanted my “life” back. I also felt ashamed for feeling that way. I had a home, I had food, I had a healthy family. But I wanted more. I wanted “luxury.”
When my husband and I got married, we had so much more than my parents ever did. My family did not have two cars when I was little. We didn’t have more than one t.v. In fact, we didn’t even get a dishwasher until I was ten.
Yet, when we married, we both had a car. We bought a washer and dryer, microwave, T.V., fridge, VCR, (o.k., so I just dated myself), and several other things to make us happy. We wanted everything that our parents had. Only it took our parents years of hard work to attain those luxuries, and we wanted them NOW. We weren’t willing to wait. That was the beginning of our trouble with debt.
When we were able to get out of debt, we determined to stay out of debt, and so far we have (except for the mortgage on our home, which we’re working on). We have done that by making intentional choices. By looking at a purchase and asking if this is a need or a want. By asking ourselves if we can make do with something else instead. By thinking before we buy or by waiting for a sale if we determine that we must have it. We don’t always make the best choices (like we still like to eat out to much!) but we do try and live more intentionally, as a rule.
Living a simple, frugal lifestyle is not about depriving yourself. It’s all in the attitude. It’s choosing what you really value, what is really important to you, and then using your money to best serve that value. It’s examining your needs and your wants, and knowing the difference.
For more tightwad tips visit Mary.
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January 5th, 2009 @ 6:53 pm
Great post!
It has taken us a few years, and too much debt to figure this all out..but I think we got it now. Sometimes we still get in a rut, and want what we want now (sometimes thinking we need them), instead of examining our current blessings and appreciating them.
Thanks for the reminder!
Phoebe
January 5th, 2009 @ 8:40 pm
We’ve done a lot of examining purchases lately. There are so many things that we really don’t need and can make do with what we have just fine.
January 5th, 2009 @ 10:04 pm
Great thoughts my friend! I used to be way more frugal than I am now. With the economy the way it is, I need to do better. You are a great inspiration. Keep sharing!
January 5th, 2009 @ 10:14 pm
I saw 5 clients a day when I was a credit counsellor who had the same thoughts as you originally did. They wanted it, they bought it. I am glad you saw the light and glad you are inpiring others to do as you did.
January 5th, 2009 @ 11:17 pm
Great post! And good job! We have been married 16 years and decided before getting married to have a debt free life. It is great. We do not have wide or flat screen tv. We don’t even have cable. My DD has not heard most cuss words that are out there (we do have TV guardian hooked up to everything) and we are OK with that.
She is OK tha tshe does not have a wee or play station or that stuff.
She loves playing scrabble with her mom (me) and battle ship with her dad… LOL!
January 6th, 2009 @ 12:52 am
Missy, I was able to leave a comment on everyone’s blog but yours. For some reason I can’t access your site, so I am leaving it for you on here. I am looking forward to checking out your blog later when I am able to.
I think it’s awesome that you made that decision before you were married. That just saves so much trouble and heartache!
My kids never had a nintendo or anything until someone gave them a used one (that’s how we got our first dvd player…someone gave us a used one). We have a t.v. guardian too! We still don’t have a wii or whatever it’s called.
January 6th, 2009 @ 11:12 am
Yes I totally agree with you. You need to figure out what is important and make do in other areas and choose what is important. Don’t buy on credit and save up for it. What a change that is from the world. But I think the world in the North America is going through a wake up call.
Thank you for your post. [0=
Blessings in Him<
-Mary
January 6th, 2009 @ 8:08 pm
You said: “It’s all in the attitude.” I totally agree! Attitude is key in so much (if not everything)!
Hope you have a great week!
Karen
January 9th, 2009 @ 1:35 pm
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