No one prepared me for teenage drivers. I currently have one child with a learner’s permit and another scheduled to get his in a few weeks. Stinky diapers, crayons on the wall, temper tantrums, and snotty noses are nothing compared to sitting in the passenger seat while you child is learning to drive. I think the authors of “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” need to title their next book, “What to Expect When Your Teenage Son Gets His Learner’s Permit.”
I’ve learned a lot over the last year and a half about teenage drivers, so I though I should share this information, so that you, unlike me, will be prepared when your first born wants to drive.
Research the Laws of Your State
Each state requires something different to get a learner’s permit/ driver’s license. Shockingly, some states have even changed the laws since we got our permits! 
Do not start researching these laws when your child turns fifteen, start when they are fourteen, because in some states you can get your permit on your fifteenth birthday.
I’m not suggesting your child get their permit at fifteen, but it is better to know to requirements before driving is even an option for your child.
Decide When Your Child is Ready to Get Their Permit
Just because your child can get their permit doesn’t mean they are ready. Sit down with your child and talk about what you expect from them as a driver. Let them know if you have no intentions of allowing them to get their permit immediately. Discuss with them when you think they will be ready to take the learner’s test.
Set Ground Rules Before They Have a Permit
Will your child be allowed to drive friends, talk on the phone, or eat while driving? This might depend on the laws of your state, but make sure your child knows what you allow before they get behind the wheel. Will they lose driving privileges due to poor grades? Will they be allowed to drive with girlfriends/ boyfriends? Setting boundaries and rules before they start to drive is easier than changing them down the road.
Make Sure You Have Time Available to Teach Them to Drive
Your kids aren’t going to learn how to drive on their own. They need an adult helping them make the right decisions. Before they get their permit make sure you have the time to take them out driving. I’ve known families whose children have had to renew their child’s learner’s permit because they didn’t get enough driving experience to take the test before it expired.
Kids need a lot of experience behind the wheel in different situations. Many states now require a certain number of hours to get a license, but even if your state does not, make sure they practice driving in the rain, at night, during rush hour, or in difficult conditions. You want to make sure they are comfortable in any situation before they drive without you.
Talk to Your Insurance Company
Many companies allow your teenage driver to be added to the policy for free if they have a learner’s permit, but you’ll want to let them know you have an additional driver. You might also want to review your coverage and consider lowering your deductible depending on your child’s natural ability to drive.
Budget for Additional Gas
For my daughter driving did not come naturally. When she first got her permit we had to drive on Saturday mornings in an empty office park until she was confident enough to drive on the road with other cars. It took a few months before she was able to drive without making special driving outings. Make sure you budget for the extra gas when your child is starting out, especially with the high price of gas.
Teach Them How to Fill ‘er Up
Teach your child how to fill the car with gas before they are driving alone. Discuss what type of gas you put in the car and familiarize them with pay at the pump gas pumps. This is also a good time to talk about who is going to pay for gas when they get their license.
Get a Tune Up
Make sure the car your child drives is in good working condition. You’ll probably want to make sure the brakes, power steering, and signals are working properly before an unexperienced driver gets behind the wheel. In many states your child cannot pass the driver’s test in a car that needs significant repairs.
Consider signing up for a roadside assistance program (Allstate has a plan where you only pay when you need it) for peace of mind when your child starts driving alone.
Get on the Same Page With Your Spouse
You say stop, he says go. You say slow down, he says speed up. Talk to your spouse about how you are going to teach your child to drive. If the child is hearing one thing when they drive with mom and another when they drive with dad they will be confused and less confident on the road. Mixed messages can cause your child to second guess their decisions while behind the wheel.
Relax
For many parents watching the child who set the front yard on fire with a magnifying glass get behind the wheel of the family car can be a scary thing. But a tense parent is a tense driver. You want your child to feel comfortable behind the wheel so remember to relax and gently guide them as they drive. Some kids don’t need a lot of help, but those who do need a parent who isn’t tearing off the door handle due to stress.
Try to avoid grabbing the steering wheel, stomping your foot on the floor (as if to brake), and gripping the dashboard with your hands while your child drives. Although my parents did all these things when I learned to drive and I turned out okay, it might be better to use a hands off approach.
This article is sponsored by Allstate’s Good Hands Roadside service. Did you know there are over 52 million households that pay annual fees for roadside assistance, but the average driver uses their service only once every three years? With Allstate’s Good Hands Roadside service you only pay when you need assistance. You can find out more about it on the website or sign up below.
Ha ha! I had one of those foot-stompin’ parents. On one particularly memorable occasion, said parent was stompin’ while yelling, “Go! Go! Go!” As I attempted to calmly break at a red light in spite of the huge distraction next to me, I said, “I think you mean stop.” I don’t relish the thought of teaching my kiddos to drive…think I’ll leave that to my handsome husband. I’m bound to follow in my parents’ footsteps. I still tense up when driving with a critical passenger. :/
Maybe your dd can get some footage of you not freaking out as an example for us—LOL. (That wouldn’t distract teenage driver too much, right?)
Miss you guys!
You are so funny! I’ll see what I can do about some video footage, lol!
I think it is also a good idea to make sure your child can change a tire and use jumper cables before an emergency strikes — even if you have AAA or other roadside assistance — these skills will probably come in handy at some point, and they will be more motivated to learn before they get their full license. Other skills like adding washer fluid, checking tire pressure/adding air, changing wiper blades and headlight/signal bulbs, checking the oil, and even changing it are also excellent skills to pass on.
Great tips Megan!
This is something I still need to learn! I know how to do these both but never have tried. I have only been told how. I think I may get my husband to teach me very soon. We have already decided that my husband will be the one to teach both boys and any future children how to drive, since as he says “I keep my foot in the fire wall”
Those are great tips! I am still very nervous about my kids starting to drive though! Fortunately I have 2 more years. (-:
And, with brand new cars, do try to buy one that actually HAS a spare tire! Some models don’t, these days. Complete foolishness. I would also suggest teaching your teens to drive in snow (even if you don’t have snow where you live…you have no idea where the Good Lord will send your children!) and teaching them to drive a manual transmission car once they’ve mastered an automatic transmission (again, because standard transmissions are the norm on most other continents…wouldn’t you hate to think your teen couldn’t get someone to the emergency room because the only available vehicle had a manual transmission and your teen could not figure out how to drive it?).
Great tips Nancy! I totally agree about teaching them to drive a manual transmission. Now I just have to find a friend willing to loan us their car! I cannot believe cars are sold without a spare tire?!?!?! That is nuts!
This is going to sound weird, but my mom took me to a cemetery several times before I got my permit (back in early nineties) because she, and I directly quote her, “figured I couldn’t kill anyone there.” I think she was probably more relaxed there to teach me the driving ropes. I turned out ok, so maybe there was something to her logic, as morbid as it was!
I have two getting there permit this week one is 17 the other 15 my oldest is a diabetic so I researced a sticker you can get to put in the window so law enforcement would know you have to get a prescription but it sure made me feel better about him driving http://medicsalertbracelets.com/diabetes-stickers/
Fifteenth birthday! I got my permit on my *fourteenth* birthday and that is still the law in Iowa.
http://www.iowadot.gov/mvd/ods/gdl.htm#myAnchor
I was shocked when I moved to Missouri and found out kids couldn’t get a permit until they were 15 1/2. I think having a permit for two full years instead of 6 months was very beneficial as it gave a longer period of time for learning.
My oldest couldn’t get her permit until she was 15 and 3/4 in Maryland, but you can’t get your license until you have had your permit for a year. So at least you still have a year of driving practice.
MO has moved it back to just 15 so kids have a longer period of practice now.
How funny! My oldest son has his first class tomorrow night! I am still not sure that I am ready for this – even if he is!
Very good ideas. Having been through the process 4 times already and one son left to go (next year), I have found how important it is to be very clear what our parental expectations of driving will be- safety, cell phones, friends, road courtesy, breakdowns, eating, etc. It is better to be clear up front than argue later.
I know that my insurance company offers a “Teen Safe Driving Program.” Basically, the company installs a camera in your car (and they pay for it), and it monitors how well they are driving. If they slam on the brakes or swerve really bad, it will click on and record, and I believe it sends that information to the parents. Then the parents can log onto a website and see what happened and what was recorded and talk to their kid about it. I don’t have a teen, so I’m not worried about it now (even though my hubby has joked about putting it in my car!), but I know we will definitely get that when my son is old enough to drive.