Comments on: A Day in the Life of The Happy Housewife ~ Handling Strong Willed Children

By: Beth Buster

Beth Buster — Mon, 18 May 2009 15:23:06 +0000

I am also a mom of 7 children! Mine are 10 and under, and I have one extremely strong willed child, and 5 other very independent kids. I have to agree with what you’ve said. Especially the compliment. I have gotten so much further with my children after I have started making a conscience effort to be more positive and encouraging! Not to mention that it leads right into connecting with them. Thanks for the good read!

By: niki

niki — Mon, 11 May 2009 04:23:06 +0000

Wonderful! Bravo! Thanks.

This post was just what I needed to read this week.

By: Nancy M.

Nancy M. — Sun, 10 May 2009 19:28:45 +0000

I have one of these children, I am hoping the second one is easier, though it’s not looking like it right now. I do have problems with being consistent. I definitely need to work on this.

By: Sherry

Sherry — Sat, 09 May 2009 14:58:19 +0000

Great advice! Having a 13 y.o. girl and 10 y.o. boy I have found that what works for one might not work for the other. You have to find what consequence will work the best for certain things. I’ve taken away visual entertainment i.e. tv, computer, ps2 and other times it might be not getting to go do something with friends. Consistency and prayer is always key!

By: L2L

L2L — Sat, 09 May 2009 10:23:35 +0000

With a child that has a strong will it is ever important to ensure while you are “molding” their will you do not wound their spirit. The Lord has shown me and grown me greatly through my child with a strong will. My desire is to direct that strong will to things that are positive vice negative. I have found that making charts for what is expected, chores and also rewards and consequences alike. That way there is no arguing about it. I try to ensure my child knows exactly what is expected out of me. I lean more toward why is my child disobeying, getting to the heart of the matter. Is my child frustrated because he can not express himself? Are his actions solely because he is being defiant. I realistically evaluate my expectations and pray to see if they are too high after all these are our children who are learning and I want my child to know grace. When dealing with my child who has a strong will, God showed me early on that I wasn’t even upholding myself to the same standard of obedience with Him that I expected out of my child. I always encourage mothers to prayerfully seek guidance when dealing with each child, after all God is the one who gave each child life and also to each mother because he knew they would be the best mom that child could have and in that I have gained much confidence and also knowing that anything I mess up too bad God can always fix, lol.

By: Andrea

Andrea — Sat, 09 May 2009 03:31:19 +0000

That’s great advice. Thanks!

By: Anne-Marie

Anne-Marie — Sat, 09 May 2009 03:06:40 +0000

Wait! You’re not perfect? Aw, man!

I find that the child I butt heads with the most, has a special connection with me…and it’s not just the connection of my hand against his rear.

What worked with my youngest who is extremely strong-willed…and I only tried it out of desperation and with a load of skepticism… was giving her two choices. “You can choose to sit in the naughty chair all night OR you can choose to get into your bed and go to sleep.” I just about fell out of bed when she choose to go to bed. Here we were in the heat of the battle and I threw out 2 choices and she actually chose one and didn’t argue with me. The war is far from over with this one as she continues to reorganize her battle plans, but I know the key to dealing with her is setting the limits and enforcing those limits by giving her two options to chose from.

By: Amanda

Amanda — Sat, 09 May 2009 01:08:26 +0000

Sorry for the book, BTW

By: Amanda

Amanda — Sat, 09 May 2009 01:08:11 +0000

Uh-oh, you all are making me quake with dread LOL! My second boy is SO easy-going and pleasant – he’s just 6 months, and now I’m making a mental note to be prepared if all that changes in a year or so

Thank you for the way you wrote this post. I really appreciated the alliteration – that does help with the memory (that’s all too fading these days, and I only have two so far!)

Any suggestions for a consequence with a toddler who has discovered that screaming indoors is funny? This just started last week, and we’ve been telling him to “use your inside voice” and stuff like that – but, as he’s discovered, we don’t have a consequence for it, so today in the grocery store, I spent the whole time telling him to please be quiet. I just tried to get through the store as quickly as possible! It made it obvious to me that we need to have a consequence for that behavior, but I was totally not sure what to do in the middle of the grocery store. Kinda hard to do “timeout”…especially when your cart is fully of perishables. (sigh)

By: Jennifer

Jennifer — Sat, 09 May 2009 01:04:59 +0000

I really needed to read this. I have a child who is very difficult and I do find myself pulling away. It is so hard and I feel like a mean mom when I am correcting or disciplining all.day.long. I get so tired of it. Thanks for the encouragement and advice.