The following is a post from contributing writer Stef.
This August we are celebrating 10yrs of marriage!
My husband and I believe “date night” is very important for a marriage to remain strong. I believe that being home all day with our children, homeschool moms particularly enjoy a date night. Sadly … it’s not always so easy to make date night happen.
We live 2 hours away from the closest family member. High school girls are social butterflies and not usually available on Friday/Saturday nights. High school girls become college girls and move away. College girls graduate and start “real jobs.” Plus, we can’t always afford a nice dinner, movie, and sitter crammed into four hours.
And let’s just be real — someone usually ends up with a snotty nose the morning of date night.
After a few months of failed attempts we realized date night wasn’t about a movie. Date night wasn’t about a fancy dinner. So, we got a little creative to make the homeschool mom’s date night a success.
- we wore out the boys all day in order to put them to bed at 8pm. (I realize homeschool = no bedtime to some families, but honestly your marriage is worth an early bed time).
- we purchased a few of our favorite things: bottle of wine, cheese, crackers, humus, apples, and grapes.
- we lit some candles around our fireplace and turned on some music.
- we left our phones, laptops, etc. in another room.
- we didn’t talk about our children, homeschool, gripes, or work – we talked to each other about each other.
- we laughed.
Homeschool moms date night isn’t about pitching the new curriculum on our wish list, or even discussing bad behavior during a science lesson. I didn’t even talk about my blog! It’s about reconnecting with your spouse – the two of you right where you are – because one day it will be just the two of you again.
A few years ago I wasn’t interested in sitting on our ratty old sofa, and when the weather was just perfect we’d sit outside in lawn chairs star gazing. When our boys were smaller and napping after lunch we’d spend our own afternoon napping in the hammock.
We became flexible with our definition of date night rather than discouraged we weren’t out on the town.
How are you making a homeschool mom’s date night work for you?
About Stef
We are blessed to have both sets of grand parents in town. But, there have been times we didn’t have a sitter or just didn’t want to leave kids for some reason. We rent the kids a movie, make them supper and set up their movie. Then we order take out from somewhere nice. We save money because we don’t have to pay for drinks or tip. We enjoy child free time while they eat and watch the movie. And we didn’t have to leave home.
Thank you for posting this today! I keep looking at how much my husband and I DON”T do together and how we’re become individuals more than one. Your words encouraged me to look at it differently as something to be creative about and enjoy the moments we do get! Thanks again.
I think this could apply to any mom of children not old enough to stay home by themselves. It can be so hard to get all the stars to line up to get a night out with your hubby, but it is so worth it.
I love this! Our boys are older, but we still love to spend those nights in. I think it’s time for us to get back to being a bit more proactive about doing more of this. {We can just kick the boys to the curb for a while…ha!}
When my children were younger, I exchanged date night babysitting with a friend. One night a month, she would come to my home and watch my three kids while my husband and I had our date night. Her husband would stay at their home with their three children. Then another night during the month, I would go to her home and watch her three children while her and her husband had their date night. My husband would stay at home and take care of our kids. It was a wonderful arrangement for both of us since neither of us had family/free babysitting available!
We do beers or wine with the firepit going. Or we just “pretend” our kitchen bar is a “cocktail bar” (turn on some jazz music to get the mood right lol) and meet each other there for a few drinks and conversation. Sometimes, just going outside by ourselves and watching the stars and listening to the frogs and owls and holding hands is great, Or reading a book to each other, cuddled on the couch. And don’t underestimate the power of a dual foot massage.
I love this. In our house, bedtime is early, though older kids can read in bed. We make full use of the evenings on a regular basis. Last night hubby made a fancy desert with chocolate and strawberries, and we cuddled up on the couch. We don’t get out too much alone together, but we get plenty of quality time when we make the effort for it. I can’t wait till summer when we can go sit on the outside swing.
I agree with yuo. It is not About how fancy it could be, it is About spend quality time together.
A year ago we moved to the country about 4miles from the nearest town and all that is there is a gas station! We have 8 kids (and 1 on the way). We decided to start our own version of date night. Every month we make a date. After the kids go to bed we make a special dinner, often purchased from the meat counter at the grocery store 75 miles away (we coincide date night to grocery shopping day!). Then we light candles, eat in the fancy dining room (or out under the trees), listen to music, and sometimes we even dress up. WE have had so much fun doing this that it becomes an all month affair planning our night!