Times are tough for the majority of families today. People are embracing frugality in many different ways. One area that has always seemed harder to save money is the gift giving department. I like to give gifts, and I like to give gifts that people will enjoy.
In my own family I have shopped at thrift stores and yard sales for Christmas and birthday gifts. My brother-in-law loves used T-shirts as long as the neck isn’t stretched out. I start looking a few months before his birthday to try and find interesting T’s he will appreciate.
For other family members I stick to buying gifts new. Fortunately, this year I have accumulated a lot of Swagbucks, but in the past I have tried to come up with creative and frugal gifts people will enjoy. Occasionally I will find something new at a yard sale to give as a gift. But, most of the time I purchase items at a retail store.
Personally, I don’t mind receiving second hand gifts. If it is something I want or need and it is in good condition, I don’t care where it is from. I am actually glad people are not paying full price for a gift! One year dh asked for several books for Christmas. He specifically asked that they be purchased used! Since we buy most of our books used anyway, it made sense for others to do the same.
I wonder how many people feel the same way? Do you give second-hand gifts? Would you be offended if someone gave you a used gift? Just think how much money we could all save (not to mention all the packaging) if we embraced second-hand gift giving.
I would love to hear your thoughts on the subject.
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{ 43 comments… read them below or add one }
I’ve given secondhand gifts, but they’ve all been in like new condition and something I knew the person would enjoy. I’m not opposed to receiving secondhand gifts if others take the same care.
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TheHappyHousewife Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 3:08 pm
I agree, the secondhand gifts should be in like new condition. Unless it is a distressed piece of furniture, lol!
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Second hand gifts are fine with me. In my mind people are lucky to receive anything these days. Companies are still laying off in our neck of the woods.
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I agree with Corrin!
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I’m pretty sure we’ve given movies bought from the previously viewed section of the local video store. As long as the gift is in decent condition it doesn’t matter to me. I wouldn’t give something as a gift if I wouldn’t use it for myself. For example a game with half the pieces missing or clothing with stains or holes.
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Hmmmm… I don’t know if I am courageous enough to give a secondhand gift. The closest I have gotten is regifting-but I don’t think that really counts. I have gotten secondhand books before and loved it. It is funny when you think about it, we make so much trash every Christmas simply by buying people NEW things. Sooner or later they are going to have to throw out the old stuff! My pet peeve is when people give you stuff just to give you stuff. It just ends up taking up room in your house and never getting used (my least favorite: bath and body products!!!!!!). I would rather the person not feel like they HAVE to get me something than run out to the store the night before and pick out a genaric lotion because I am a girl. But I understand the motive and it is very kind for them to care so much.
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For my children we have many times bought previously viewed movies at the video store or used games or game systems from places like Game stop or even on Amazon or eBay.
So far I have never bought a used gift for anyone but hubby or kids.
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My MIL buys us second hand stuff all the time. I don’t mind that it’s used it’s that 90% of the stuff will never be used. I always say that just because it’s cheap doesn’t mean that it needs to be bought. What to do?
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I have received some second hand gifts that were in such awful condition, I was embarrassed. I got a coffee maker for my wedding that still had coffee grounds in it!! (I would have enjoyed a coffee maker, but not one THAT used!!)
Hands down, my favorite gifts are activities when I get to DO something with the gift giver… Manicures, movies, coupons for help in the garden. I think I’d rather have those than any thing second hand.
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Gifts should be from the heart and something that the reciever wants or needs. My husbands family give second hand gifts but it is just ’stuff’ given for the sake of gifts. I received like 10 gifts from my inlaws one year – including a calculator, a computer repair kit, and some socks that were obviously new in the bag but OLD – probably all from garage sales. I don’t need more crap. You know what I did with it? Gave it back to goodwill. I would have rather received ONE new gift bought with the same $20 they bought all that crap with.
All that to say – I struggle with second hand gifts for that reason. But I think that if someone asked for a particular book or movie, if you found it in good condition, that would be fine. I wouldn’t mind – if it was something I wanted.
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Katrina Reply:
August 26th, 2009 at 8:41 pm
My in-laws used to do the same with my children, usually with price tags from clearing sale still attached, not wrapped and nothing to do with what my kids like. I got several people to mention to them that the ideal gifts to give kids was vouchers/gift cards and that is what they do now. I’m sure they resent actually having to spend more than $2 on my kids but oh well it’s not like they are poor and I was fed up with seeing the other grand kids have several hundred dollars spent on them each.
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I believe gifts should be new, chosen especially for the recipient. People have different ideas on what looks new as opposed to new. Giving a used item could be an insult to someone you care about, someone who takes time and thought into the gifts you receive.
Its a chance I wouldn’t take. If one has used books or items to pass on, this could be a surprise exchange between friends.
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I would give a second hand gift if I saw something and thought, “AH-HA! That would be perfect!” I think, also, in this day of eBay and Craigslist, the world of second-hand items is wide open. We can find anything in any color and any size.
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The only second hand gifts that I have had the courage to give have had sentimental meaning. Although I almost always give “new” gifts, I do not buy somebody a gift just because it is a gift giving holiday. The gift must be of value to that person. Otherwise they get a nice card with my handwritten appreciation and love of them.
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Oh my goodness! Marie and I have the SAME mother in law! I love her to death, but she is making me CRAZY with her frugal deals that clutter up my home. Recently, she bought a new crib skirt at Goodwill. It was still in the package and only a dollar BUT I already have a crib skirt! Who needs two?!? She brings over several bags of her “finds” every week. A lot of it is from TJ MAXX (which I am beginning to loathe) but a lot is from Goodwill. Now, I buy all of my clothes at Goodwill and I am not opposed to second hand gifts. But, just because its a good deal doesn’t mean it deserves a spot in my home!
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I wish more people would do this! I have no problem re-gifting, and with some close family members I would be okay buying second hand gifts. Some people think stuff is super cool if you tell them it’s vintage. I don’t mind receiving second hand gifts.
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I have given gifts that have been purchased at garage sales and thrift stores in like new condition. I also beleive in regifting. I love receiving any gifts, any time, but especially love no bake cookies (you know the ones that have oatmeal, chocolate, and I think peanust butter) plus I will never absolutely never turn down a gift of homemade iced sugar cookies… boy I sure hope my kids read this!!
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While I love buying used most of my relatives would die if I bought them anything used!
I shop clearance and yard sales/thrift shops for NIB items to put away in my gift closet.
Stop by and see me over at Free 2 Be Frugal!
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I sometimes buy second hand but in new condition unless it is something that is hard to find. One year for Christmas my MIL gave me a set of 4 mugs. They were a really cute design and I was pleased with them until I saw the leftover coffee in the bottom of the mugs. If you are giving second hand make sure it is clean. I usually buy a lot of our gifts new but clearanced items.
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I have never given a second hand item as a gift but I bet my husband and my children wouldn’t mind (especially my oldest).
My favorite kind of gift to receive—homemade gifts!! I taught a biology class 2 years ago and one of the families couldn’t afford to pay. I had no problem blessing this family and not charging them for the entire year.
Throughout the year they made me wonderful gifts (like for Christmas, my anniversary or birthday). They are into stamping and I would get a beautiful card made by them along with cards for me to give others. Or other times I would get muffins (or another baked good). It meant alot to me that they took the time to make me the gift.
At the end of the school year this family had me over, along with the other two woman that taught them. They put on a fantastic lunch for us and then each girl presented a gift to the teacher that had them. I was blessed with a beautiful quilt that the girl I taught (16 at the time) made herself. I LOVE it!! I sleep with it every night : )
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I re-gift, buy from garage sales, bazaars, and second hand shops, but not for everyone. Some in our family are offended by the thought we did not feel they are worth new items (their words, not mine). I have been given gifts I love second-hand (Clue Master Detective) and gifts I have no use for (a car vacuum when I did not have a car at the time). If I can use the gift, great. If you can’t find something I would love at a second hand store, buy something there and donate it, then give me a card telling me a gift was given to charity in my honor.
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I wouldn’t give a second hand gift to a relative or friend, though I wouldn’t mind receiving one. My friends and relatives would just make fun of me for being super cheap. Although I have found clothes with the price tags still on them from goodwill and giving these as gifts. What they don’t know won’t hurt them!
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I love looking for used items to give, for me it’s the ‘thrill of the hunt’. We have often done that when our children were little. I’d look for vintage books, 1st ed. games, knick knack type stuff, in good condition. I don’t mind receiving used items. My friends know I’d rather they save their money. On my recent birthday, one gave me a few Fiesta Ware items to go w/ my collection. Her hubby had bought them at a yardsale. To me, they’re priceless!
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I don’t do second hand gifts, but that doesn’t mena I don’t do frugal! I went on the hunt for something for my mom’s 65th birthday at Marshall’s.
I love that they have such a fun variety of stuff at great prices. I ended up with a garden vase/urn thingie with a tile mosaic deisgn for $5! I picked it up becaus eit was beautiful and I put it in my cart because the price was right.
I also love homemade. My sister can really rock some banana bread which I love to get as a gift. And I have been known to give out a jar or two of my home grown and canned pickled peppers with a pretty ribbon tied around the jar as birthday and anniversary presents.
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I have recieved and given 2nd hand gifts, some of it has been regifted. I like to give books for some of my family who are big readers and I have found a 2nd hand book store near me who are very particular with the quality of their books and it is nice to be able to give a big pile of books that I know they will like reading for the same price as 1 book. It is the thought that counts – $5 spent on something they know you really enjoy is better than $50 on something that you have no idea what on earth they were thinking and you can tell they grabbed it at the last minute
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My dad is always bringing me ‘new’ stuff from the thrift stores. I love it. It also makes it easier to part with if something ends up being a disappoint.
Someone recently gave me a big bag of clothes purged form their closet…which she probably received from various people who did the same. It was like Christmas for me.
I could embrace 2nd hand gift-giving, but dh would turn his nose up at that. I’ve tried to put an end to adult-gifts, but he wouldn’t hear it. I’ve been shooting for more consumables or homemade gifts in recent years.
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I do a lot of second hand and homemade gift giving – we are on such a tight budget that it’s really all we can do for such a large family. I don’t mind receiving second hand that is clean or useful – but not junk. My FIL has found some really neat lambs for my collection and nutcrackers for Kendra and horses for Vannan – all second hand. I would rather have something I can use than something that is just clutter. Dh though thinks that last minute shopping at the dollar store is the way to go. I feel embarrased giving those gifts. I made idea lists with the Amazon gift list – and made a comment that finding second hand items of these were fine with us.
I do have a lot of very well off relatives and wonder often if my best efforts don’t just hit the trash when they get home. I’m not very craft gifted.
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I don’t mind receiving second hand gifts like books, movies, music, computer games. Actually I’d rather they were used – they are outrageously expensive! But if it’s junk, it’s junk! If you know me and care about me, I’d rather you buy me something that I want/need, not just a gift because you need to buy a gift.
As far as gift giving, for young kids I think used is just fine. They only play with/wear things for a short time anyway!
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I too struggle with the “gift-giving” budget category more than any other as a SAHM!
The only problem we ran into was the dietary constraints of older people and diabetics (oops!)
As a child, we never had much $$ and often our gifts were incredibly small. Anyone who did not know my dad made literally $7,000/year as a pastor would have considered our gifts tacky. So all my life I wanted the capability to give nice gifts.
After college, I became a CPA, worked at Ernst & Young. Our budget was wide open for gifts! I loved it! I could buy *nice* gifts all year around–for Christmas, birthdays, “just because. . .”
Now as a SAHM, we are barely making it on my husband’s income (which is less than what I made when I was working). So gifts, esp Christmas, is a huge ordeal again.
His family members all requests things and his youngest sibling said to me last Christmas, “We’re all adults here–let’s either get each other what we’re requesting or buy giftcards.” Which sounds great, when you’re a high school kid like she is, with college paid for and an $11-hour job!!!!!! But it’s much harder for us as a one-income family of four (almost five). Plus there’s my sister-in-law’s family, who we also exchange gifts with–her parents, siblings, grandmother…
I don’t want to give tacky gifts–or junk nobody wants.
So we are trying to get creative and ask about books people want (those can be affordable and valuable). And last year we spent a lot of time baking “gourmet” items: some incredible “latte fudge,” biscotti (nicely packaged), other baked goods, paired with gourmet hot chocolate/tea/coffee . . . People thought we bought them!
For my kids, I buy 2nd-hand gifts almost exclusively, unless I won something new (for example, I won a Strider bike at 5Minutes For Mom! Happy Birthday!!!) or unless I’ve found a hugely discounted item they really would like. The kids are soo excited–and I think they enjoy the “2ndhand” gifts as much as they would enjoy a “brand-new” gift–we just pay a lot less.
I find a lot of kids’ gifts at consignment sales and on FreeCycle too–last year for Christmas I gave my daughter a huge Dora dollhouse, complete w furniture and everything–we got it for free! And it looks completely brand-new!
So . . . yes, gifts . . . wish there were a better answer! Probably I will get better at this over time.
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So far, everything we buy for gifts is new. I usually look all year to find something nice that a person would like as a gift. Also family gifts are good, as requested by my daughter in law. When money is tight, gifts for everyone gets expensive. A gift card for movies or a grocery store would be good. I think my husband would read 2nd hand books, as he’s always reading. If someone gave me something that was nice and bought second hand, I don’t mind it. But giving gifts that are worn looking isn’t good nor just stuff that’s more nicknacky, i.e..I think rabbits but not ones that are cheapy stuff. Then tho, it’s the thought that counts…cheap doesn’t last for children in toys. My mom always insisted on doing that and a few days later, it was gone.
http://grandmabeckyl.blogspot.com
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We do secondhand gifts all the time, especially for our own children. If I can find something at a garage sale that I know they’ll love, I snag it.
I once found some dishes on Ebay that matched my MIL’s set. We gave them to her for her birthday. She was THRILLED.
On my husband’s side of the family, we do an adult gift exchange/grab bag, always with second-hand items. We all brag over the deals we got. Fun!
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i was thinking about gift giving the other day and i wrote a post about it yesterday.
http://curiousaside.blogspot.com/2009/08/what-your-friend-wants-for-her-birthday.html
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I don’t give second hand gift; but, I have re gifted. this year my gifts will be homemade. For her birthday I gave my daughter a jar of my homemade BBQ sauce. It is one of her favorites.
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I have given used baby dresses at a shower that I bought secondhand at resale shops. Most baby dresses are in pristine-looking conditions, even whey they are used.
Someone gave me baby gifts from a resale shop. I loved them! One was a wonderful flannel blanket. It looked brand-new.
I have given my own children used items as gifts before. This Christmas, I am planning on giving some clothes to the boys that wer bought at garage sales that look brand-new. My daughter is getting some used American Girl books that I bought on half.com (they look brand-new, too). I know my parents are going to give her some used books as well.
We don’t exchange gifts with most of our extended family; my husband and I don’t usually give gifts to each other, either. It’s not usually in our budget. Sometimes we’ll do an act of service for a gift for each other (such as fixing something for the other person).
Most of our gifts for our children for the last three years have been handmade items (for Christmas and their birthdays). I have several links for free patterns and tutorials here: http://theprudenthomemaker.com/sewingforless.aspx Many can be made with fabric and/or used clothing that you already have on hand. I made my daughter a dress out of a friend’s old curtains. It’s a new item, but also a used one.
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Honestly, I never thought about it. But you are SOOOOO right. I used to shop at thrift stores all the time before I moved here. This town unfortunately only has one and since I am not keen on getting shot or mugged and it is in a scary scary part of town with bars on the windows, I don’t go there. Just thinking about it makes me look over my shoulder. It’s BAAAAD. So I miss it. But I would never be offended by a used gift or a re-gift even.
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I have given second hand gifts. Last year both my dd and dh wanted guitars for Christmas. New were way out of our price range. But I found a used electric guitar for my dd for a good price. It included the amp. And at the pawn shop I got my dh a guitar for a good price. When he is ready he can return that guitar and trade up to a better one.
Video games are good buys used also.
Hard back books are a good buy used.
My mom has bought used silk scarves for friends. You would never know if they were used or not. Because they were so nice.
If it is something the reciver would love and appreciate then yes buy used.
I am at the point now that I do not like to give gift just for the sake to give at the holidays. I was so happy when the gift list was down to just the few people I truly care about in my family. So much less stess. Hate trying to shop for people I did not know well and ended up wasteing money on things they did not want either. And getting ugly things I did not need or want.
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I hardly buy tangible gifts anymore, period. Oh, it’s not as bad is that statement sounds…perhaps:-) I buy a lot of theatre and concert tickets, zoo and museum memberships and exhibitions, golf and sewing lessons. I even once paid for a college course for a relative. I just do not like selecting “stuff” for other people. I have very little (to no) fashion sense (or interest) and do not keep up with current fads/toys/trinkets/etc (no tv) and recognize my limitations! I do pay attention to what my friends and family like TO DO and go in that direction.
Receiving 2nd hand gifts wouldn’t bother me in the least. People don’t know what to buy someone who isn’t into “stuff” anyway.
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A lot of books I like are out of print, and thus are only available used. My siblings and parents are the same way. There’s an agreement between us all that used books (even if they *are* available new) are totally fine–even ex-library editions, because sometimes that’s all that’s available if a title is rare enough.
For my in-laws, something “vintage” or “antique” is fine, but other than that they seem to prefer new, so for them that’s what we do.
It doesn’t bother me at all to be given a secondhand/used gift, but it’s nice if the giver has given some thought to it, and not just bought it because it’s cheap.
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I so wish the stigma of giving a second hand gift would die already!! You can find awesome like new stuff at thrift shops, yard sales and ebay for pennies on the dollar.
I would way rather give and receive second hand stuff because it means if my budget is $25 for my mom, if I buy second hand it means she gets $50 worth of loot!
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I, like you, would much rather get something used. I would rather someone save money and pay as little as possible to get me a gift.
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I’ve given used books from Paperbackswap quite often. As long as they are in postable condition, they’re almost always in good condition! They might not look brand new, but I don’t think anyone’s ever been bothered by it. I like a book that has some character. And most of the time, you’re only going to read it once–it doesn’t need to be pristine! I HATE buying brand-new books because of the expense.
I don’t at all mind receiving used items, but I don’t really know how to communicate that to others!
Jessie
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I think second hand gifts are great. You can find many things that are just as good as new for much less if you look for them. Especially children’s clothing. My goal is to never buy a child’s coat new. Most coats (unless they go through 5 kids) are worn for an hour or so twice a day for a few months.
Of course for the family that is farther away and ‘picky’ (I refer some in-laws those that don’t have children yet and came from well off families) we stick with gift cards. We get them from credit card rewards, survey rewards, etc. I already have $40 in gas cards and 2 adult movie passes. If I actually start doing some more surveys we will take care of that side of the family well before we meet for Thanksgiving. I already have some ideas for other gifts, that while aren’t used, are very practical. But, if i find something at a yard sale of thrift shop, I have no problem giving that instead.
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We gave my MIL a book off of Paperback Swap one year along with instructions on how to set up a Paperback Swap account and the steps to go through to repost this book when she was finished and to post other books she didn’t want anymore. I know she enjoyed the book, but am not sure if she’s actually used the PBS idea…. this was a bit of a risky used gift b/c she is very into the newest, latest and greatest whatever is out there!
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I buy second hand books too! My hubby and kids don’t mind! For my oldest son’s first Christmas, I believe everything he received from us were hand-me-downs from his cousins. My younger son’s birthday was this week, and he told me about a used video game he wanted from Game Stop. So I went out and got it for him! If it’s clean and in decent condition, who cares! I like to see things recycled!
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Our family is talking about making this a theme for giftgiving next year. Fine with me! My wardrobe is 99% second hand and my bookshelves too. We found a high-end board game for my hubby for his birthday second hand at a fraction of the cost. Craigslist, Ebay, and Goodwill, here we come! My only concern is baby toys. Ugh. I do not trust plastics and synthetic materials. I may respectfully ask that other than books or wooden toys, if they do not know the materials that they don’t buy toys for our little one. As for others, I think sometimes used items can be a walk down memory lane (such as a book from childhood or an old movie or game) or possibly antique looking. It would be a fun challenge.
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